I have decided that what I most need for Christmas this year is a fairy godmother. Or godperson to be politically correct, although that brings to mind the idea of Julian Clary prancing around the house.

But I desperately need someone to help cope with the December schedule which means organising my suddenly cluttered social calendar, buying Christmas presents, writing cards, glazing the ham and stuffing the turkey as well as doing a bit of festive home-baking on the side. Christmas makes me feel I should be doing all of these things, even if my oven rarely gets switched on for the rest of the year.

I badly need some organisation. At the moment I seem to lurch from one almost forgotten appointment to another while juggling with the fact that the roof has sprung another leak (in a completely different place from the last time), the thermostat for the central heating is stuck on high and the man in my life is engaged in a spot of home decorating - which means that I'm afraid to move anything anywhere in case I interfere with some vital part of the wallpaper and paste process.

Squashed in between the selection of different things that I absolutely have to do are visits to the physio (dodgy shoulder) and chiropractor (dodgy back). And I still have to fit in work! It's just as well that the shortest day is only a couple of weeks away. My entire life collapses around December.

Failing acquiring a fairy godperson, the next best thing would be a crystal ball. I don't want to try and predict markets, I just want to know where they'll be. Predictions mean that you use information currently available to make a value judgment about the future. But how on earth can you do that right now? With half the world in recession you feel that markets should be lower. Yet anytime there has been an equity sell-off this year, investors get squeezed back in as cash rates go lower courtesy of the Fed and of euro convergence. So selling equities, which you can justify as cautious and prudent, ends up being costly indeed.

Support from the markets is good news for the supermarket chains though. This is the time of the year when they should be coming into their own as we all rush out and fill those cupboards, but in fact they're coming under increasing pressure to justify their pricing methods. I suppose this is more apparent in Britain where the Office of Fair Trading is investigating supermarket profit levels. Apparently profit margins on meat have widened by around 44 per cent on beef, 62 per cent on lamb and 29 per cent on pork, according to a report by the Meat and Livestock Commission. (Presumably there are attractive margins in Ireland too. On the day of the farmers' protest I saw a poster which broke down the amount received by the farmers against the price charged by the supermarket. The farmers were demanding a fair share of the profit, although I have to admit I was thinking that a fall in price to the consumers themselves should have been the end result. But I always was naive about that sort of thing.)

Despite these rather generous margins, British supermarket shares have slipped recently and they've been looking at new ways of generating profit. Tesco (£1.86 sterling [£2.07] from £2.02 sterling) and Esso are experimenting with forecourt stores at a number of garages. Sainsbury (£4.97 sterling from a high of £5.80 sterling) recently bought a US supermarket group to diversify its interests. It cost it $490 million (£334 million) and it now owns 49 supermarkets in the US and four Wild Harvest natural-food stores. Not that the market thought a lot of that idea.

One analyst said, somewhat scathingly, that Sainsbury remained a very small fish in an increasingly large US pond. Still, if that pond is performing better than the home market, Sainsbury might yet reap the rewards.

Meanwhile, Marks & Spencer (£4.12 sterling from £5.69 sterling) has replaced Sir Richard Greenbury with Peter Salsbury as chief executive. This didn't exactly set the markets alight as Mr Salsbury is seen in the same mould as Sir Richard - a long-term M&S man.

Actually he's only been at the company 28 years. Sir Richard was there 44. The important question is whether or not he'll bring back the Tarte au Citron chocolate bars.

I have to admit to loving the M&S Food Halls and I confidently expect the Christmas period should help to restore some profitability. Nobody else does the party nibbles quite as well as they do. The rest of the retail trade is pushing for business just in case the downturn bites. I've already received my invitations to a couple of account holder nights at department stores (more dates to add to the diary!) so that I can spend with reckless abandon.

The thing is, you wander around looking at a variety of goods that look great in the shop - especially since it isn't as crowded as usual - but which seem particularly inappropriate when you get them home.

I can't reveal the most inappropriate present I've bought, since the intended recipient doesn't know that I'm having a crisis of conscience about it already.

All the same, the most ridiculous things get advertised as Christmas presents. Black and Decker always pops up around now, but who really wants a power drill? Every year the advertisements show blokes looking thrilled to receive Black and Decker drills. And every year I bet they'd prefer to receive a bottle of booze instead.

I'm keeping an eye out for the most innovative present to be advertised over the festive season. So far the best one has been for a home allergy test.

The suppliers suggest that you give the gift of health as you hand over the test. Gift of terror, more likely, as you discover that you're allergic to everything in the house. That sounds almost as bad as the Black and Decker drill.

You could always buy someone a few shares, of course. Either they'll love you if the market soars, or they'll laugh at you if it collapses. There is, actually, nothing worse than buying someone shares and seeing the price plunge. The recipient looks at you in amazement.

After all, you're supposed to be able to predict where these things go! Aren't you?

Sheila O'Flanagan is a fixed-income specialist at NCB Stockbrokers.