Have you heard the one about the broker?

Just so our stockbroking friends don't feel left out of the slagging that lawyers, actuaries, accountants and even eurocrats …

Just so our stockbroking friends don't feel left out of the slagging that lawyers, actuaries, accountants and even eurocrats have to suffer, Current Account was amused by recent comments from Lord Sainsbury - he of the supermarket empire in Britain and a trade minister in Tony Blair's government.

The good Lord S was speaking to the annual lunch of the British Metallurgical Plant Constructors Association - known to everybody of course as the BMPCA - when he began with a joke.

Well, at least he thought it was funny.

Lord S told the assembled plant constructors that the government had "good news" - it had found an alternative to live experiments on animals and that stockbrokers would be used instead of our furry friends.

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Why? Well, there are more stockbrokers than furry animals and they'll do anything for money.

And third, there's never any danger of scientists getting too fond of stockbrokers in the way they might get fond of dogs and monkeys!