Minister of State Noel Treacy doesn't speak much Spanish, doesn't lecture in economics and doesn't carry a first-aid kit. He doesn't have to, after yesterday's performance in his own Galway East constituency when he single-handedly patched up any policy differences Ireland might have with the EU Economic Affairs Commissioner, Mr Pedro Solbes.
He did get a little help. Loughrea town commissioner Ms Maura Kelly-Stewart was ebullient in her welcome for the soft-spoken Spaniard when he prefaced attendance at a financial conference there yesterday afternoon with a walkabout in Ireland's "euro-bhaile".
Cromwell had come to Loughrea - originally an Anglo-Norman settlement which still retains its medieval moat - and had found people talking French, she pointed out. The town has one of Europe's finest cathedrals, with wonderful stained glass by Sarah Purser, Michael Healy and Evie Hone.
But just in case the Commissioner might be lulled into a false sense of security about Loughrea's commitment to change in the form of this new currency, Ms Kelly-Stewart was to put him straight a little later on.
It happened by accident, during a pause in the tour which began in dank drizzle with an inspection of Dervan's drapery shop, where the proprietor, Mr Bernard Dervan, explained the difficulties of acquiring a three-line pricing machine.
The Commissioner looked at the price tag on women's tights, on oven gloves and was shown the cash till, which flashed from pounds to euros and printed both currencies on the till receipt. Mr Dervan gave him a present of a blue tie. "Why don't you sell him a suit while you're at it?" came the voice of Ms Kelly-Stewart from the rear of the throng, as the Minister of State for Science and Technology guided the visitor through.
Then it was across the busy main street to the newsagents, News 'n' Choose, where Mr Leo McGuinness discussed the value of the one-cent coin. "Superfluous," he said, while Mr Treacy nodded, and the Commissioner agreed. He was shown the book stand, responded to photographers' pleas to hold up a copy of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? and received a present of a work by local author Pat Barrett - entitled The Revival of Irish, the Ten Commandments and a Kick in the Arse.
THE real kick was in Kelleher's pub, one of the town's oldest hostelries, across from the cathedral.
Some 30 people stood around the bar, empty-handed, while the man from Alicante sipped politely from a glass of Guinness in the company of the chairman of Loughrea Chamber of Commerce, Mr Kevin Glynn, and Mr James Regan, chairman of the Loughrea Town Commissioners.
True to his conviction, and his Pioneer pin, the Minister of State did not jump into the picture. At this juncture, Ms Kelly-Stewart broke into song, on his suggestion. What more appropriate failte than Galway Bay?
It was only after she had sung the verse, and Mr Solbes was admiring the architecture and art in Loughrea Cathedral, that Ms Kelly-Stewart began to worry a little about that middle verse. "For the strangers came and tried to teach us their ways/ They scorned us just for being what we are/ But they might as well go chasing after moonbeams/ Or light a penny candle from a star . . ."
There was lunch out at the National Euro Conference hosted by Forfas in the Meadow Court Hotel and a friendly greeting from the Tanaiste, Ms Harney, who emphasised her commitment to Europe at the ensuing press conference.
And the Tanaiste presented Mr Solbes with yet another gift - a bottle of Middleton. She wasn't an expert on whiskey, she explained, nor was her Government colleague, Mr Treacy. But if he was Irish, the Commissioner might drink it in one night. Being Spanish, it might take him some time, she added.
