Not-so-retiring US hedge fund manager bows out

AN AMERICAN hedge fund manager who last year secured one of the largest percentage profits of all time has said a none-too-fond…

AN AMERICAN hedge fund manager who last year secured one of the largest percentage profits of all time has said a none-too-fond farewell to the industry, lashing out at the "idiots" who took the other side of his trades and ending his final letter to clients with a plea to legalise marijuana.

Andrew Lahde (37), whose fund last year returned 866 per cent to investors after correctly betting on a meltdown in the subprime mortgage market, said he had profited because "the low-hanging fruit - ie idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale and then the Harvard MBA - was there for the taking".

The financial "aristocracy" who had risen to the top of "companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government" were "not worthy of the education they received", Mr Lahde said. He added it "only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America."

Mr Lahde, who controlled approximately $80 million in assets, said some would question why he was calling it quits with "such a small war chest". He was "content", however, and did not envy those who tried to amass "nine-, 10- or 11-figure net worths".

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"What is the point?" he asked. "Their lives suck. Appointments back to back, booked solid for the next three months, they look forward to their two-week vacation in January during which they will likely be glued to their Blackberries or other such devices."

Professing not to understand the "legacy thing", he said that even the biggest names would "be forgotten in 50 years anyway". Forget about "leaving your mark", he added. "Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life."

Mr Lahde has never been afraid to tell it as he sees it, even if it reads immodestly.

He boasted last year that his fund was the best-performing "in the universe".

On another occasion, he said that he would not lose money on a particular trade even "if God comes down and miraculously fixes everything that is going to drive us into a deep recession".

In 2007, he came runner-up in US magazine Trader Daily's "Trade of the Year". It praised the "shrewd implementation" and "low inherent risk" of his subprime bet.

The current system was "clearly broken", Mr Lahde said. He went on to suggest that a "great man" like George Soros should "start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government".

Mr Lahde said he plans to use his free time to "repair my health, which was destroyed by the stress I layered onto myself over the past two years".

The bizarre letter concluded by touting hemp as an alternative food and energy source, and criticising the US government's "ludicrous" banning of marijuana, an "innocuous" plant.

"Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating."

He concluded "corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other addictive drugs, than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers".

David Bronner, president of the Hemp Industries Association, said "Mr Lahdes perspective is right on the money" and asked the newly retired trader to use some of his recent winnings to help bring back hemp farming in America.

Proinsias O'Mahony

Proinsias O'Mahony

Proinsias O’Mahony, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes the weekly Stocktake column