CONGRATULATIONS to proud new parents in the Department of Finance and the Revenue Commissioners who have given birth to a 91lb whopper.

The new arrival has been fetchingly named the Taxes Consolidation White Paper and will be christened in the Dail in a future session. Ruairi Quinn presided at the birth in Dublin Castle this week.

Those who want to surprise the accountant in their life with a surprise little something can pick it up for a mere £30 at the Government Sales Office. But be warned. Bring a wheelbarrow.