Cents & Nonsense:Do women know what they're risking when they have children or are they blinded by the myth of equality?

It wasn't her imagination. They were looking at her differently. You'd think she had six heads or something. Siobhán had worked like a dog for the past 15 years. She had received top honours at university and had landed a well-paid job in a private company.

She worked hard but wasn't promoted like her male colleagues. Three years ago she met John. They fell in love and married last summer. Things were really good. Until today.

When Siobhán came in to work this morning, she told her boss, Tom, and her co-workers that she was four months pregnant.

Rather than congratulating her for the new life that was growing within her, Tom almost sneered when he said: "I suppose you'll be wanting maternity leave?"

Co-workers were quick to congratulate her. By the afternoon, however, the discussion shifted to who would take up her workload and how long she planned to take off.

"We'll miss you around here Siobhán," they said. Others joked: "Sure, you won't want to see us again once you have that babbie in your arms."

Siobhán felt she had done something horribly, deeply wrong. Had she betrayed her boss by becoming pregnant? Why was she suddenly invisible to her co-workers? Who was she now?

Like many women, Siobhán was shocked to discover that, once she became pregnant, she became a second-class citizen in the workplace. Later on, she may also discover her status is downgraded in her relationship, in society and in the eyes of the Government.

Someone forgot to pass her the pink card that says: "Warning: use your womb, lose your rights. PS You are now financially vulnerable for the rest of your life."

Eddie Hobbs's recent statement about children depth- charging a woman's career actually understates a much larger dilemma faced by women today.

Society automatically assumes that women shoulder the caring responsibilities in the family, rather than share them with their partner, and this has a significant impact on women's daily lives.

The persistent "primary carer" stereotype means women of childbearing age are vulnerable to systematic and institutionalised discrimination.

Earlier this week, Niall Crowley of the Equality Authority told me: "Despite 30 years of gender equality legislation, gender continues to be the second-highest area of complaint. The issues relate to promotion, pregnancy-related discrimination, sexual harassment and equal pay. They reflect an undervaluing of women."

The majority of women who face discrimination do not complain. They just get angry and then get on with it.

Women are outperforming men academically and participating in the workplace more than before. Yet women aged between 20 and 40 don't generally have the same employment opportunities as men of the same age.

Employers often choose a man over a similarly qualified woman because she may, one day, burden them with maternity leave or resign to bring up her children. If she is hired, promotion is less likely for her than for her male counterpart. On average, she'll also earn 16 per cent less than a man performing the same job.

When she becomes pregnant, it is assumed that she is no longer interested in her career. If a second child comes along, the boss thinks it's just a matter of time before she realises her salary barely covers the childcare costs.

Flexible work hours are not readily available at most jobs - except in the Civil Service and large companies - so she'll probably have to drop the baby to the creche or minder by 7am or 8am and not see them again until 7pm. If that doesn't push her to resign, a boss who piles on extra work or who bullies her just might.

Where are the husbands and partners in all this? Employers expect men with children to carry on as before and leave the kids - or elderly, disabled relatives - to the women. Many men want to participate more fully in family life but current legislation makes it difficult.

Women are the only ones entitled to paid leave when they have children; paternity leave and parental leave are unpaid.

Crowley said: "Workplace culture is not only hostile to women who are having babies but it's quite clear that it's hostile to men who take flexible working arrangements. Men who seek to be carers are supposedly showing disloyalty to the workplace."

Women who have children are also vulnerable to financial hardship in later years. Obviously, it doesn't always happen, but marriages can break down, partners might die young, women can get ill. Women who have lost time and earning power in the workplace by raising children may be left in poverty.

Am I the only one who finds this all incredibly creepy and frightening? Do women know how much they are really risking when they have children or have they been blinded by the myth of gender equality?

• Margaret E. Ward is a journalist and director of Clear Ink, the Clear English Specialists. cents@clearink.ie