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‘I can see his anger growing’: Woman obtains barring order over husband’s alleged abusive behaviour

Dublin district family court also dealt with six separate applications by parents, five mothers and one father, for protection from their adult children

The woman said she fears her husband’s drug taking could lead to their toddler son being taken into care
The woman said she fears her husband’s drug taking could lead to their toddler son being taken into care

A woman who said she fears her husband’s drug-taking and abusive behaviour could lead to their young son being taken into care has secured a temporary barring order against him.

Her husband is emotionally abusive and controlling towards her and has been using drugs for some two years, causing hallucinatory and “weird” behaviour, the woman told Dublin district family court.

Tusla had warned her husband must not be under the influence of drugs when around their toddler son but he is still using drugs and bringing them into their home, she said.

She previously got a protection order against him but believed that is inadequate and is increasingly fearful he will harm her or their child, she said. “I can see his anger growing.”

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Her husband has broken walls and furniture in their home and had broken the front door twice, she said. “He is doing a lot of harm and me and my son are in constant stress and fear.”

His behaviour, she feared, could lead to her son being taken into care.

Judge Furlong, sitting on Friday at the emergency domestic violence court in Dolphin House, Dublin, granted the ex parte (one side only) application for an interim barring order, returnable to November 11th, when both parties are entitled to be heard on whether a full barring order should be granted.

The judge dealt with six separate applications by parents, five mothers and one father, for protection from their adult children. He told one mother he had “no hesitation” granting interim barring orders against two of her adult sons, aged in their twenties.

The woman, a pensioner, said her sons are not working and steal from her to buy drugs which they use daily, including cocaine, pills and weed. They are very abusive and violent, constantly threaten her for money, and she fears for herself and her other children, she said.

Earlier on Friday, her sons called her about 40 times, “screaming down the phone”, she said.

Another mother who got a protection order against her adult son, aged in his thirties and living at home said he has verbally abused her for some ten years, shouts at her, calls her names, “puts me down constantly” and she is “in fear of what he could do to me”.

She felt “like a prisoner in my own home”, her mental health was affected and she was “at my wits end”.

Thanking the judge for the protection order, the woman said, if her husband had “stood up at the beginning” and told their son not to speak to his mother like that, “we wouldn’t have a problem”.

“Please God, at least now he knows I’m serious and am just not taking it.”

In another ex parte application, a man failed to get a protection order against his former partner over alleged “continuous harassment” of him in breach of an undertaking to the court not to communicate with him or put him in fear.

Since that undertaking given last June, others had notified him his former partner had hacked his phone to impersonate him on gay dating sites, the man said.

He suspected his former partner was responsible for other incidents, including unlocking his car at night. His ex denied any involvement in that, the court heard.

Judge Furlong said the evidence did not establish an immediate threat to the man’s safety but he could reapply if the situation changed.

In another case, a woman got a protection order against her younger sister.

Both live in the family home and the applicant said her younger sister is in her early twenties and is very abusive, verbally and physically, towards her. Her sister had attacked her earlier in the week, “biting and scratching”.

She had called gardaí numerous times over her sister’s behaviour, including breaking items in the house such as plates and tvs, she added.

Mary Carolan

Mary Carolan

Mary Carolan is the Legal Affairs Correspondent of the Irish Times