Aged 21, alive and kicking, Slane is a fusion of callow glamour and beery bonhomie - but is anybody watching the stage? Ed Power asks all the right questions.
It was an incongruous, almost surreal, juxtaposition. In the VIP paddock, coiffured debutantes clinked champagne flutes and pretended to ignore the muddy squall of feedback that droned incessantly on the periphery, like a fleet of helicopter gunships angrily massing across the river.
Several hundred yards away, churning ranks of alcohol-glazed youngsters indulged in every imaginable stadium rock cliché. They hefted inflatable furniture, snogged by the funfair rides, jostled in line at the noodle bars and burger stalls. The music, sweeping the hill in vast tidal swells, seemed a half-forgotten distraction.
It is precisely this bizarre conjunction of callow glamour and beery bonhomie that distinguishes Slane, a bouncing 21 years old this year. The high-society set didn't attend the Witnness concert last month, and are unlikely to wash ashore at the Creamfields dance festival in Punchestown next week. But they had flocked here to chatter, chomp lobster and première expensive new outfits. Unfurling in the crooked shadow of Lord Mount Charles's charmingly dowdy castle, the scene was suggestive of Mervyn Peake's Gothic fantasy Gormenghast, as reimagined by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Beyond the enclosure, many of the 65,000 converged on the Co Meath site appeared but distantly connected to events on stage entertainment. Too agitated or preoccupied to soak up the sounds, concert-goers nattered, spilled pints over each other and engaged in cloying rituals of same-gender bonding.
In the face of this benign indifference, only the loudest, hammiest acts seized the field's attention.
Cursed with the opening slot, sweetly fresh-faced Donegal punk trio the Revs received muggy applause. Their buzz-saw pop and gleeful stage presence score highly on the provincial rock circuit: Slane's hordes barely granted them a second glance.
Pity, then, dark, deeply serious Manchester outfit Doves. Fêted by critics as spiritual heirs to iconic, similarly humourless 1980s ensembles such as Echo and the Bunnymen and Joy Division, the trio offered a competent run through their acclaimed Last Broadcast. The majority of the listless crowd, however, gave the impression that they couldn't have cared less had the band delivered excerpts from Pirates of Penzance.
In the wake of such apathy, folk-rockers Counting Crows might conclude that they had escaped rather lightly. Helpfully, these mellow Californians have a few hits under their belt. They also stooped to covering an Oasis song. A watery, willowy take on Live Forever garnered the biggest cheer so far. A bleary head even poked out of one of Slane Castle's windows, curiosity pricked by the sudden swell of hubbub.
Peddling a beguiling line in juvenile portentousness, bubble-gum choruses and impromptu swearing, Canada's Nickelback were a revelation. Lazily lumped with the detestable "nu-metal" scene, Nickelback offered a decaffeinated, irony-divested take on early 1990s grunge as extolled by bands such as Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains.
Their vaudeville angst and craw-thumping bombast provided perfect fare for a venue overflowing with semi-inebriated teenagers. Most of their material was glum, inchoate and mercifully brief. But they've got an ace in the hole: a ground-quaking, pulse-quickening anthem beloved by misunderstood 15-year-olds across the globe. Embraced by MTV and daytime radio, How You Remind Me is readily familiar to even the most socially detached, and prompted a wild, genuinely spine-tingling, sing-along. But the moment lurched towards self-parody when frontman Chad Kroeger recycled the track for the third time.
Inevitably headliners the Stereophonics received a starkly contrasting welcome. Excitement displaced lethargy. Diffident grimaces widened to giddy smiles. Fists clenched theatrically. Lighters waved in the gathering gloom. The VIPs even deigned to huddle in the windswept grandstand that bordered the castle and afforded a dizzying view of the stage and the thronged amphitheatre below.
Overall the tone was peaceful and amiable. Gardaí reported 27 arrests: one for theft, two for assault and 24 for public order offences. Some 147 drugs seizures were made, principally of cannabis and amphetamines. There were no attempts to swim the river Boyne, scene of a number of drownings at previous concerts.
A Garda spokeswoman said the crowd was extremely well behaved throughout the day.The festival ended around midnight, but traffic restrictions operated around Slane village until the early hours of yesterday.
