Last week, one entrepreneurial mastermind began auctioning a Ziploc bag labelled “Air from Kanye Show” on eBay at a starting price of $5. Somehow the bidding reached $60k within a week. Remarkably, this was before methamphetamine was accidentally legalised, which would have made the bidding higher.
After being asleep at the gavel for a few days, eBay moderators finally removed the item and all of its carbon copy replicates which multiplied in its wake. This was in spite of the seller’s disclaimer that “I am the first one to sell this item all the others are liars”. It’s good to be reminded that there are still some decent and honest air salesmen out there.
More celebrity air to be successfully auctioned includes Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie’s breath in a jar. This sold for the bargain price of $530, after the seller “caught” it himself when the couple sashayed past him at a red carpet premier. He argued the probability of it containing their breath molecules, an unexpectedly scientific explanation from a man whose primary skill seems to be waving open glass jars in the faces of celebrities.
Britney Spears’ discarded wad of gum (certificate of authenticity unavailable) fetched $14k, roughly the same as her discarded pregnancy test (results unavailable). Then her 2007 public breakdown upped the value of her abandoned junk, and a Californian salon sold off locks of her hair for roughly $1m.
Most admirably, one Australian lad nearly sold the entire nation of New Zealand on eBay for three grand. Unfortunately NZ’s foreign minister stopped the auction, and reportedly uninvited Australia to his birthday party.
