It was no surprise that Carolyn Bessette's tragic death prompted headlines and handwringing across the globe. She was, after all, young, beautiful and the wife of John Kennedy Jr, the charismatic heir to Camelot, the closest thing Americans had to royalty.

"An American Princess," declared fashion bible Women's Wear Daily. "The Queen of Camelot" said another. As flowers piled up outside the couple's Tribeca loft, the grief over Bessette's loss was palpable. Complete strangers were photographed crying outside her home.

While predictable, it proved a curious turn of events. It is no secret in the US that in the three years since she married JFK Jr, Carolyn Bessette's relationship with the public had been prickly at best. With the media, it was downright ugly. When she made it clear she had no intention of becoming the celebrity show pony they demanded, the knives came out; she was soon portrayed as unworthy of America's uncrowned prince.

The media were relentless in painting her as a clotheshorse, a snob, a domineering wife who kept Jackie's boy under her thumb. Her fate was sealed by half a dozen spats in public, one of which was videotaped by an enterprising passer-by and aired on national TV. In the video, Bessette could be seen giving her husband a severe dressing down. What the public didn't see was the passionate make-up kiss that followed. The networks had no intention of salvaging the negative image of her they'd worked to create.

Her reincarnation as an angel is in profound contrast to headlines in the UK, where she has been cast in the role of villain for demanding JFK Jr fly her sister Lauren to Martha's Vineyard. In the US, the Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy of the UK headlines simply doesn't exist. In particular, comments by C David Heymann, authorised biographer of the Kennedys, that John suggested he was bullied into flying have been completely discredited. Attacking Bessette while she was alive was a sport, but in death all Kennedys ascend to sainthood.

So was Bessette the angel of recent headlines or the devil of the past? The answer is, nobody really knows. In her three years as Mrs John Kennedy Jr, Carolyn Bessette never granted one interview, never proffered her thoughts on politics or the cult of celebrity the two worlds she entered simultaneously on her marriage. What was reported about her were marginal, biographical details gleaned from university transcripts and work colleagues. The only thing known for certain was that she wanted privacy. She might have married JFK Jr but she had no wish to become a high-profile socialite. In a world in which celebrity is everything, it would prove her biggest mistake.

Bessette was a publicist for Calvin Klein in New York when she met John Kennedy Jr in 1994. By then, the good-looking, charismatic son of the slain president had tossed law aside for journalism, launching his own political magazine, George. He dated a string of famous women - Daryl Hannah, Sarah Jessica Parker and Madonna among them. Bessette, whom he met jogging in Central Park, was different. She was high society from Connecticut. She was also, according to friends, unimpressed by celebrity, mercurial, cool, sexual, beautiful and smart.

In short, she was Jackie Kennedy Onassis all over again.

"In a way, she is very like Jackie," says John Perry Barlow, a friend of the couple. "It's the first thing I thought when I was introduced to her. They were of a type: people gravitated towards them without knowing why."

While the pair were dating, the media tracked them, but in 1995, after she moved into his downtown loft, the scrutiny kicked up one thousand notches. In response, Bessette left her job and became a stay-at-home girlfriend. She hoped if she presented herself as uneventful, the press might decamp. Instead, after her marriage in 1996, all bets were off. "The new Jackie Kennedy!" screamed the headlines. Now a Kennedy wife, she would, everyone presumed, adopt a Kennedy profile, hitting the circuit and readying herself for life as the Washington wife she was destined to become.

Nothing of the sort panned out. Instead, Bessette sealed herself inside their home. "Carolyn was a very sophisticated woman who knew exactly what she was getting into, but it was still difficult to handle at first," says Mitchell Fink, a New York Daily News columnist who knew her. "It offended her that her privacy was being intruded on that level." So she retreated, learning too late that her elusiveness simply created greater desire. Magazine editors begged for fashion shoots, journalists requested interviews. Everyone wanted to know the secrets of the girl who had landed America's prince.

She turned them all down and in response, the media turned nasty. They demanded to know when she would produce an heir. They castigated her for being a clotheshorse. (Diana, anyone?) Every small fight in public triggered stories of divorce. Bessette never responded and who can blame her? Witness the character assassinations accorded to Jackie and Teddy.

BUT while the media bristled that she ignored them, they didn't stop wanting a piece of her. Soon every sighting was photographed, reported and deconstructed. Her style, from her wedding dress to her Yohji pant suits, was praised, while she was castigated for shopping excessively. A trip to the hairdresser for highlights was chronicled as if breaking news. At a 1997 film premiere, she declined the host's offer of chocolates, saying if she indulged, the press would write she were pregnant.

Bessette never once revealed herself, Fink says, and because of this, the public projected on to her a lot of contradictory feelings. They envied her beauty and her capturing the heart of JFK. They were angry she denied them access, yet applauded her fashion nous. But they never knew her.

Given the events of the past six months, it now seems they might have, in time. It was noted that she had begun attending more charity balls, White House dinners and events for John Jr's magazine. She smiled more and even posed for photos. "She was much more relaxed in public," says Fink, who chatted with her at a recent charity event. "I think she was just finding a new level for herself, adjusting to her celebrity, when this tragedy happened."