Latest releases reviewed
FIFTY CENT HustlerG Unit/Interscope **
"Hugh Hefner, I gotta tell you, he ain't got shit on me." Fiddy has fulfilled his ambition to become the playboy of the hip-hop world - oops, I've just given away the ending of his movie. He may have the bling, but he's long ago lost the sting.
MERZ Postcard from a Dark Star Gronland ***
Conrad Lambert sounds like a lonely guy, and here's his message in a bottle, floating in from the outer reaches of the emotional solar system on a moonwalking piano. "My only wish: contact". Houston, we've got a love problem here.
BE YOUR OWN PET Let's Get Sandy (Big Problem) XL ***
Short attention span? Here's a quick burst of explosive, bedroom-trashing punk from the noisy Nashville teens. It's over in just 56 seconds, so there's still time to go on the PlayStation - hey, are you listening?
DORIS Will I Ever Learn No label *
Twiddly, rudimentary chord progression, forgettable tune, no discernible chorus - will some bands never learn? Still, it worked for The Cranberries, so who knows? This Dublin group are "making quite a splash", it says here, but my copy just made a dull plop.
Q No Pulse Strange Vibe ***
No, it's not a song about a girlfriend. The man also known as Colm Quearney has been larking about lately with his old band Lir, but here's a tuneful, tasty track from his own album, Bodyelectric, backed with old favourites Carol and Reckless. Not exactly pulse-quickening, but there's life there.
FORWARD RUSSIA! Twelve Dance_to_the_Radio ***
Don't be fooled by the Franz-style soviet chic; if Electric Six joined the KGB, they might sound like this UK band. They don't name their songs, just number them; but then, what would you call a song with with lyrics like "All the equations were perfectly arranged"?
DAVID BANNER Play Universal/SRC **
You know when someone's trying too hard to act all sexed up, and they just end up sounding like a bear gatecrashing a picnic? This r'n'b bloke can grunt and groan all he likes, but the only thing that's gonna get turned on is the telly.
