The latest releases reviewed
MADONNA Sorry Warners ***
Madge has never been big on acts of contrition, and she's not a bit sorry for blatantly dipping into her early '80s club roots. Besides, if it gets her back into pop heaven, then what's to apologise for? Just say three Hail Marys and dance.
LUAN PARLE Failed Romances Sony/BMG **
She's a country-pop girl from County Wicklow, and this lovelorn lament is off her upcoming debut album. Not quite Emmy Luan, but definitely a Crystal Gael.
THE DARKNESS Is It Just Me? Warners **
Er, yes, Justin, it is just you. Somewhere on the way to hell and back, The Darkness's irony train came off the rails, leaving Mr Hawkins looking more like a panto queen than a rock god. Cod-metal rule #452: if you ain't got the licks, then you just suck.
MAXIMO PARK I Want You to Stay Warp ***
What the band said to the audience after the Arctic Monkeys finished their set, perhaps? They may not have the youthful swagger of Alex Turner and co, but Paul Smith does have a few tricks up his comb-over. We're still here.
GRAHAM COXON Standing on My Own Again Parlophone ****
His new album is called Love Travels at Illegal Speeds, and this tune tears along on a reckless riff, before crashing headlong into the moshpit. Hail the new king of Cox-rock!
THE FEELING Sign Island ****
Quick, hide those heavy guitars - the soft-rockers are coming to kick your punk-metal ass. These Sussex lads are out to fill our little world with smooth, velvety goodness and break us down with completely irresistible tunes. Sadistic bastards.
JACK JOHNSON Better Together Brushfire Records **
He's the surfin' dude from Hawaii, and he's ridin' a wave of adulation for his catchy campfire tunes. If you sang along to this one at the Point on Wednesday, you don't need me to tell you it's as dull as a Magnum PI episode.
