Festive releases reviewed

BAND AID 20
Do They Know It's Christmas? Mercury
**

Last year was a bumper year for Christmas songs, but Santa's sack is a little bare this year. Even scroogy old Cliff has skipped Christmas. Maybe everyone was too busy doing this new version of the ultimate charity tune. Chris Martin, Robbie Williams, Dido, Dizzee Rascal and Justin Hawkins are here, and Bono's back, but, like Christmas itself, it seemed much better back then.

THE CAMEMBERT QUARTET
Everybody Knows It's Christmas Cosmic Music
*****

A prime slice of Christmas cheese from Clint Velour and the boys. With lines like "Bells are ringin' and everyone is minging", this one outdoes even The Darkness for sheer yuletide cheekiness. They're doing the Sugar Club on New Year's Eve, so put that on your list.

JUNO FALLS
White Christmas RMG
**

Many Christmasses ago, Aidan Walsh aka The Master of the Universe, covered the Irving Berlin classic with fairy dust; this Irish crowd are going for a psychedelic Bing-meets-Led Zep feel - which reminds me, must order extra Rizlas in for Christmas.

DONNY OSMOND
Christmas Time Decca
*

Well, if Cliff won't do Christmas, I guess Donny will have to step into the breach with a little doo-wop about Christmas with the Mormons. This is co-written with Gary Barlow, but Back for Good it sure as hell ain't.

ALED JONES & HAYLEY WESTENRA
Silent Night Universal
**

Ah, remember Walking in the Air? Well, here's young Aled's sweet choirboy voice again and - wait a minute, who's that bloke with the tenor? Don't tell me he's all grown up and that's a girl singing the first bit. God, the time flies.

JETHRO TULL
The Christmas EP Randm
**

Is that a big flute, Santa, or are you just pleased to see us? No, it's hairy old country gent Ian Anderson with a yuletide EP featuring Ring Out Solstice Bells (off Songs from the Wood), plus live versions of Slipstream and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. Here's 50 pee, my good man, go buy yourself some tinsel.

MARIE-BERNADETTE O'CONNOR/THE MONKS OF GLENSTAL ABBEY
The Darkest Midnight/The Coventry Carol Hummingbird
*

Hmmm, that voice sounds familiar ... it's bleedin' Sinead, sneaking in under her priestly pseudonym, and spoiling Christmas with this dirgy sean-nós hymn from the album Biscantorat - Sound of the Spirit. Also featuring the funky monks from Glenstal Abbey doing The Coventry Carol.