The European film industry proved last weekend it can do toe-curling just as well as the Oscars - but does it mean sweet EFA, asks Derek Scallyin Berlin
Wim Wenders and his film industry friends proved in Berlin last weekend that, when they want to, European film-makers can leave their Hollywood counterparts in the shade. For the 20th annual European Film Awards, the heads of the European Film Academy (EFA) proved that they are masters of self-referential, self-reverential spectacle.
We were promised the European Oscars. Instead the evening was a numbing three hours of meandering monologues, witless jokes and missed cues, recalling the gloriously shambolic 1989 Brit Awards.
We were promised glamour, but the most prestigious element of the evening was the absentee list. The ceremony itself was held in a one-time east Berlin bus depot overlooking the former death strip (where people attempting to escape over the Berlin Wall where shot at by border guards). These were facts that a spangly set and Emmanuelle Béart playing host could not hide.
"What a job!" she sighed at one point in the evening, trying (and failing) to walk and talk at the same time.
Romanian director Cristian Mungiu (present) won the best film and director prizes for his abortion drama, Four Months, Three Weeks and Two Days, after taking the Palme d'Or at Cannes.
Top acting awards went to Helen Mirren (absent) for The Queen and Sasson Gabai (present) for The Band's Visit, the story of an Egyptian band stranded in the Israeli countryside. That film's director and screenwriter, Eran Kolirin (present), was given the patronisingly titled "European discovery" award.
"I've just been discovered," he tittered.
German-Turkish director Fatih Akin (present) won the best screenplay award for The Edge of Heaven, while French composer Alexandre Desplat (absent) was honoured for his score for The Queen.
German-Spanish production Perfume scooped awards for its cinematographer (absent) and production designer (present). The critics' award went to the Alain Resnais (absent) picture, Coeurs (Private Fears in Public Places), while the people's choice award was won by Italy's La Sconosciuta (The Unknown). Best short film was Alumbramiento, by Spanish director Eduardo Chapero-Jackson (present).
All too present onstage, wearing a Grandpa Munster tuxedo, was Germany's Wim Wenders in the role of egomaniac-in-chief. Wenders recalled how the EFA was born 20 years ago in somebody's kitchen over "red wine and good Hungarian salami". He returned to present a lifetime achievement award to Jean-Luc Godard (absent) who, after deciding at the last minute that he didn't want the prize, sent a poem instead that ended: "Leave this heart alone."
"You changed your mind for a complexity of reasons," said Wenders. "What was the perfect moment for us was not the right moment in your life."
Rumour has it the prize is on its way to Godard right now, cash-on-delivery.
The highlight of the evening was the honorary award for Scorsese cinematographer Michael Ballhaus, presented by cinematographer Christopher Doyle.
"I'm your whore," said a well-oiled Doyle to the award-winner, throwing away his script. "All cinematographers are whores. We make you happy and we enjoy what we do."
Actor Jeanne Moreau chimed in later that it was "wonderful to learn we belong to the f***ing whores of cinema".
An embarrassed Ballhaus accepted his award, saying: "Sometimes you get awards like this when your professional life is over. Don't get your hopes up. I'm not done yet."
The lowest point in an evening of low points came when Wenders interrupted Liv Ullman's touching tribute to Ingmar Bergman to call his colleagues from the EFA on-stage to accept honorary prizes.
"You know something's wrong when the people they give awards to don't show up and they start giving awards to themselves," muttered a Spanish journalist darkly.
All of this back-slapping left little time for the real awards. Combined into one category were the diverse disciplines of production design, film editing and sound. Pulling a winner out of that mixed bag is like nominating an apple and a pear in a "best fruit" category.
Guests were subjected to sound problems as well as the cruel and unusual musical charms of Finland's Leningrad Cowboys, who posed the compelling question: "Why, why, why, Delilah?" Why indeed?
All award ceremonies are self- congratulatory - that's the point. But the 20th European Film Awards took things to an obscene extreme, celebrating the heads of the EFA. Who are they? Why do they matter? Does anyone care? The awards, we hear, are broadcast in 61 countries worldwide. In Europe, they can only be seen on satellite television, so great is the interest.
Hopefully, the EFA does good work providing a platform for European film-making. But in an awards ceremony intended to celebrate excellence in European cinema, it was sad to see Wim Wenders and his cronies hogging the spotlight and stealing the credit.
