At least that's what we should plead if anyone asks why we Irish made huge hits of such brain-dead comedies as the above and Sex and the City 2this year. While we're at it, what else do box-office receipts for 2010 say about us, wonders TARA BRADY
AS THE end credits rolled on another movie calendar, the Dublin Film Critics Circle huddled together to produce their annual shortlist. Even among this irascible bunch of people, 2010 inspired little by way of debate or arm-wrestling. The year's best films were reasonably unanimous selections. The French gangster flick A Prophet, the Greek incest melodrama Dogtoothand the Buddhist reincarnation fantasy Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Livesall polled well at the annual squabble.
Now we know what you're thinking. Those frightful snobs wouldn't know real entertainment if it kicked them in the rear. The people don't want some gibberish about monkey ghosts and inappropriate Aegeans. The people want Kick Ass.
Well, quite. But that's not entirely true. Several critics did, in fact, vote for Mathew Vaughn's comic-book caper across various categories. At any rate the people did not want Kick Assas much as you might think. The film finished well short of this year's Irish top 10.
Two weeks from the finish line, this is just one of many amazing facts to be derived from the running box-office totals for 2010. With this in mind, readers of a sensitive disposition are advised to peruse the following exclusive and unscientific analysis of cinematic Hiberno-eccentricities with caution.
WE DON’T HATE IRISH MOVIES AS MUCH AS WE USED TO
Sort of. The 2010 release slate would have been considerably poorer without critical wows Savageand The Fading Light. Sadly, quality and positive word did not translate into dough for either title.
All was not lost. His & Hersprovided the summer's Cinderella story with a box-office gross of more than €300,000.
WE HEART BRAIN-DEAD COMEDIES AND CHICK FLICKS
In the normal course of events, box-office totals from the Republic of Ireland are lumped in with those of the UK and Malta. Bottom line: when the 26 counties account for 10 per cent or more of the overall take that's a decent bit of business. The figures rocket, however, where Adam Sandler flicks and lifestyle porn are concerned: Grown Upsand Sex and the City 2made 13 per cent of their money here. It's Complicatedvacuumed up more than 19.5 per cent of its regional take on these shores. If anybody asks, it's an anarchic, post-colonial tic and not rank idiocy.
WE HEART SOJOURNING CELEBRITIES
This year visiting dignitaries from Jackass 3D, Grown Upsand The Townswung by to sell their movies to stupendous effect. The latter took over €1,500,000 here, about a million more than best estimates, following an astute campaign and stopover from director and star Ben Affleck.
“WE LOVE YOU LIVERPOOL, WE DO”
Savage, a superior Dublin vengeance cycle, received excellent notices, was deftly marketed and, as Ireland's very own Taxi Driver, had a neat pitch. Unhappily, competing sports fixtures crushed the film's prospects. On that note, distributors we've spoken to anonymously in car parks say beware the All-Ireland Final, final rounds of the Champions League, the World Cup and anything involving Man United and Liverpool.
WE HEART ARTHOUSE AND SUBTITLES WAY MORE THAN THE ENGLISH DO
A report on arts attendance in Ireland last month supported something industry watchers already suspected: out of a total adult population is 3.5 million, the number of people whose favourite type of film is arthouse, foreign-language, and documentary is 103,000. The high-fallutin' evil Santa movie Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, to cite a current example on the charts, has made more money in Ireland than in the UK.
THE IRISH HEED FILM CRITICS MORE THAN THEY LET ON
At the business end of the nation's top 10, both professionals and punters swooned for Toy St ory 3and Inception. No surprises there. There is, however, a strong correlation between the box-office receipts for smaller films and unusually good Irish notices. Winter's Bone, the second-best film of the year according to the Dublin Film Critics Circle, took 45 per cent over the odds in the Irish market. Debra Granik's ingenious thriller had virtually no advertising spend in this territory. But it did have the weight of five-star reviews from indigenous media behind it.
THE IRISH DON’T HEED FILM CRITICS ENOUGH
Why didn't you go to see Let Me In? Why? We begged and pleaded with you. And what about Mother? The critics decided the Korean dramedy was the eighth best film of 2010. But the public could not be persuaded to have a gander. They don't know what they're missing. Harrumph.
WE HEART HORROR
We love our horrors. Always have. This year, Saw 3Dand The Last Exorcismprovided the big communal scares and drummed up plenty of business.
WE’RE A NATION OF BIG KIDS
The average Irish cinema punter is twentysomething. But in their dreams, they're still nine. Barring a major last-minute surge, there are three kids' movies in the top 10 grossing movies in Ireland this year: Shrek Forever After(€4,387,508), Alice in Wonderland(€3,542,625) and Toy Story 3(€5,720,412). Whether the rest of the big earners – Avatar(€6,214,107), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1(€2,835,370), The Twilight Saga: Eclipse(€2,756,908) – represent comparatively grown-up viewing habits is a matter for debate.
WE HEART MOVIES BUT NOT NECESSARILY ON SATURDAY NIGHTS
Dwindling Saturday-night attendances concern the entire industry. Mushrooming audiences for The X Factorhave steadily undermined the traditional evening for popcorn and cheap dates. Irish cinema audiences were down as much as 50 per cent on the previous year during November. Thank you snow and Simon Cowell.
