Teen Times/Killian Staines:Glenageary. Getting the Dart. Places to go, people to see. It's been 20 long, boring minutes of waiting. All I've had to occupy myself with is the smashed glass where some utterly pointless window beside the lift used to be.

Dún Laoghaire. Two big lads get on, one with scruffy hair and one with short hair. They start interrupting my peaceful boredom with noisy boredom, as they sit beside me and start chattering like girls about films, phones, people they like, don't like, or are not sure if they like and weight supplements (okay, not that many girls talk about the last one, but still).

Seapoint. Short-hair says: "Did I tell you about last night?" "No. What about it?" "Ah man, it was mad . . . "

Hello, this sounds interesting. I wonder what was so mad. Was there a fight? Did he get a chase off someone? Or is it just a funny story? Who knows? Anyway, I'm about to find out.

"Do you remember Sophie was going mad at Louise because she was texting . . ." Oh sweet Jesus! These two are, without doubt, the most girly big guys I've ever seen. Here's me expecting an exciting story and I get gossip about two girls bitching to each other. The eyes wander out the window as Short-hair blathers on.

Sandymount. Silence. I look up to see Scruffy staring at Short-hair with a look of disgust on his face. "I've heard better stories in my granny's!"

Ha! Maybe he's not so bad after all. I laugh out loud. They look up. I feel my face redden.

With the two of them falling suddenly silent, my mind wanders. I'm back in my granny's listening to a much better story, about her "mad" friend, Joe.

"We were in Spain with Joe and his wife. And one night Joe and your grandad saw a girl passed out on the side of the road, so Joe decided they should take her to a hospital. So they pick her up and," she giggles to herself, "your grandad picked her up by the arms and Joe by the legs." I start to chuckle. My granny starts to cry with laughter.

"But Joe's trousers were a bit loose and they started to slip. But because he was carrying the poor girl he couldn't pull them back up and they fell down."

The tears are rolling down our cheeks as she delivers the punchline: "And, as he's walking up the street with his trousers around his ankles carrying an unconscious girl by the legs, a policeman walks by."

Thinking of that story makes me burst into laughter. The two lads stare at me. My face reddens again.

Grand Canal Dock. "Here's a good story for you," says Scruffy. "Friday night, me and Jimmy are headin' into town, gettin' the Dart from Glenageary. But your man selling the tickets wouldn't give us one 'cos Jimmy was drinking a can. So Jimmy picks up a rock and shatters that pointless window thing they have where the new lifts are. Your man legs it out of the station. We had to sprint all the way back to my gaff. Best chase ever."

Once again I laugh. Once again they stare. This time I don't go red. No need. Got to go. Pearse Street.

Killian Staines (18) is a student at Christian Brothers' College Monkstown Park

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