Dustin: "Faith Of Our Feathers" (Lime/EMI) It's true - there ain't no Sanity Clause, and as if to prove this with watertight certainty, here is Dustin's not very difficult third album. Dustin the turkey has been around for some time now, releasing albums specifically for the Christmas market in the hope they'll be bought by grannies and granddads who want to buy something "funny" for the nippers who think Barney is a big softy. Thing is, Dustin is too clever to be purely a kids' thing. Some of the lyrics on this cutely-titled record are far too adult - namely Where Do You Go To My Ugly, a wickedly humorous rendition of Peter Sarstedt's Where Do You Go To My Lovely - but if some of the lyrics are far too smart for the average four-year-old to comprehend, you can bet your Christmas cracker this one will be picked up by older siblings nationwide, and sung behind the back of their least favourite teacher. The turkey's version of Underworld's Born Slippy (titled here Born Greasy) is also brilliant, possibly the only novelty song that will make it into the clubs - if DJs have a sense of humour, that is. A warning, however: beware lager (and even larger) louts on New Year's Eve singing a new chorus: "Burger, burger, burger, burger, Christmas is nigh - prepare to go on the batter." Tony Clayton-Lea