It's a Dad's Life: Everybody says it - the whole Christmas thing is a con. It's only November, and already the yuletide pressure is on.
I don't buy it. The only reference I hear to Christmas at the moment is people whining that so many people are already talking about it. Yet, as far as I can see, the only people talking about it are the people whining about people talking about it. They seem to be dying to get their teeth into the topic. The biggest offenders are radio jocks. One Today FM chap was giving out a few weeks back about festive pressure coming on early. From whom and on whom? He insisted it would be "the last time he would mention 'it' before December". Then why perpetuate the issue by raising it in the first place? As far as I can see, it's still only one day in the year, and it's really for kids. If it upsets you so much, you don't have a whole lot to be bothered by.
By any standard, I suppose we are in the demographic most likely to be financially mutilated at that time of year. Two young kids, utterly engrossed in the Santa legend, who believe any wish can be granted provided you clear the peas off your plate. The elder has been making a list since January, approaching overdrive on the demands towards the latter end of the year.
Now, while she is fascinated with Christmas and Mr Claus, she is equally perplexed with time's arrow.
She knows that between now and December 25th, both her sister and I have birthdays, so she is pondering the timeline that will take her to the big day via the minor inconveniences/celebrations that don't strictly relate to her. "Dad, how many days to the younger's and your birthdays? And how many days to Christmas? That's a very long time. It's not really fair that you have a birthday before Christmas, so I'll have to get a present that day as well." For her, one month is forever. As for someone else being the focus of attention at any point as she prepares for her indulgences? That's not going to happen. Does this surprise or bother me? Absolutely not.
There is a lobby that states kids are over-indulged and over-stimulated in the build-up and throughout Christmas. Again, total nonsense. They, well mine anyway, are spoiled relentlessly throughout the year, with a peak showing in the graph in December. This is not because I or the Missus are particularly generous or feel in any way a need to buy our children's love, we are simply beaten down. We are cowed under a daily barrage of requests that move through the spectrum of plausible to fantastic. The day may begin with a reasonable conversation about why chocolate is not a good idea for breakfast, but by the time you're explaining why she can't have her own swimming pool as you negotiate vegetables into her chattering maw 10 hours later, you're usually toast. You'll give them anything to get them to bed.
Which is why December is a Godsend. I can acquiesce and say, "Well, shucks, it's the season, let them have what they want, just this once." I am a big pushover; at this time of year I don't even have to pretend to fight.
Besides, from the age of 10 to 30 Christmas was a wash-out. There were the surly teens: "Like who cares man, it's so commercial." That's followed by the drinking 20s: "Is it January already? Oh, my head." Now I'm approaching an age when I can be a fatherly idiot without fear of being unhip, where I can get giddy on sherry and openly show my appreciation of the silly season.
Where the monsters take complete, as opposed to partial, control and I'm happy to let them. I don't care if it's not even December yet, this year I'm looking forward to Christmas for a change.
