Here come the brides . . .

Gráinne Close and Shannon Sickels will make history in Belfast next month when they become the UK's first lesbian couple to be…

Gráinne Close and Shannon Sickels will make history in Belfast next month when they become the UK's first lesbian couple to be legally recognised as civil partners. They tell Brian Finnegan what it means to them.

'I proposed to Shannon on the boardwalk in Coney Island, New York, three years ago," says Co Antrim native Gráinne Close. "I said to her: 'If I could marry you, I would.' At the time, the idea that partnership legislation would ever come into Belfast was unimaginable."

The "unimaginable" is about to come true. On December 5th, the Civil Partnership Act 2004 comes into law in the UK, creating a new legal relationship that two people of the same sex can establish by signing a registration document. The act also provides registered gay and lesbian couples with a certain number of legal rights and entitlements which already exist for opposite-sex couples in civil marriages in the UK.

Same-sex civil partners will be entitled to equal treatment with heterosexual couples when it comes to life assurance, employment and pension benefits, and recognition under intestacy rules (when one partner dies without making a will). They will be assessed in the same way as spouses for child support, and will have access to fatal accidents compensation, protection from domestic violence, and recognition for immigration and nationality purposes.

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December 5th is first day gay couples can give notice of intention of registering a partnership. In Northern Ireland there is a 14-day "waiting period" between the date of giving notice and the actual day of registration, while in England, Scotland and Wales the wait is 15 days. Therefore, Gráinne Close (32) and her partner, Shannon Sickels (27), will be the first lesbian couple to sign the UK civil partnership register in Belfast City Hall on the morning of December 19th.

"It's amazing that we are being legally recognised as a couple here in Belfast before New York," says Shannon, who is American and met Gráinne when they were both living in the Big Apple. "Yet in New York City, there is a much more open attitude towards gay people. It's bizarre."

"It's hard to get your head around it," says Gráinne, laughing. "Although we have legislation to protect our rights, and now civil partnership, we're up against a whole conservative mindset here in Northern Ireland. In New York, we never gave it a second thought when we held hands on the street, but in Belfast we always have to be that bit more aware. We're always looking over our shoulders."

Both Gráinne, manger of a community network, and Shannon, a playwright, believe the gay community in the North has been slow to celebrate the new legislation.

"I think that it been almost like: 'Ssshhh, don't draw any attention to it. If you do, they might take it away'," says Shannon. "When we heard last year that there was talk of civil partnership coming in, we couldn't believe it either. We were involved with a group getting ready to organise and mobilise gay activists. Then, without having to do too much, other than encouraging our family and friends to write letters of support for the Women and Equality Unit campaign in England, civil partnerships came through. It didn't sink in for two weeks. I was too scared to say anything. I kept thinking: 'It's not true, it's not true.' "

The couple, who live in north Belfast, were also disappointed last month with the gay community's lack of presence at a protest outside the Lisburn City Council offices. Local authorities there announced that they would be denying gay couples the right to hold their ceremonies in their wedding hall, the Cherry Room.

"An e-mail had gone out on the Coalition on Sexual Orientation list to every organisation in Northern Ireland, saying that there was going to be a protest," says Gráinne. "Other than us, there was one lesbian who had come all the way from Derry with her daughter to be there, a representative from the Northern Ireland Gay Rights Association, and a young man who is going to take a test case against Lisburn City Council, along with his mum and supporters. There were political representatives there from the SDLP and Sinn Féin, but not one other gay person. No one from the other queer organisations showed up.

"My belief is that there was a reluctance within the gay community to go along, because Sinn Féin had organised the protest. I don't care who calls for protests, whether it be unionist or republican political parties. What Lisburn City Council is doing is direct homophobic discrimination. We need to be standing together on this."

"The bottom line," says Shannon, "is that a message went out to the public that there's not a whole lot of queers interested in civil partnerships, or that we don't really care. The public doesn't know the internal political views within the gay organisations. People need to fight to protect this legislation, which is a huge move forward for equality. If the queer community doesn't, that sends a powerful message."

The couple are hoping to send out their own message with a BBC documentary charting the run-up to their nuptials, which will air in autumn 2006.

"We feel it's important to do this documentary to break down some of the myths and stereotypes about gay people," says Gráinne. "By visibly utilising the legislation ourselves, we are educating a lot of people to the realities of gay relationships. For example, without legislation, if Shannon were lying in an intensive care ward in hospital, I wouldn't have the right to visit her as her next of kin."

Gráinne hasn't always seen that all- important piece of paper as the answer, though. "For a long time I didn't agree with marriage as an institution," she says. "I felt that heterosexual couples should have the choice not to get married and not lose certain rights. I thought that gay couples who wanted to get married wanted to mimic heterosexuality. And I never had those desires."

"When I see two women in brides' dresses or a women in a tux and another in a bride's dress, it just does nothing for me," says Shannon. She's reluctant to say what she and Gráinne will be wearing on their own big day but does concede that they've given up their idea of wearing T-shirts emblazoned with "Beat You To It, Sir Elton". "We're going to be a bit more glamorous than that! A friend who is a jeweller is making our rings, and we got to co-design them. We're an interracial couple, so it's important that that was reflected in the rings, which have Claddagh elements and Chinese elements in them."

Seventy guests have been invited to witness the couple's vows in Belfast City Hall.

"We are saying our own vows," Gráinne explains. "Legally we also have to include vows designated by City Hall and, at the moment, the authorities are rewriting them because they're completely heterosexual. All of their documentation policies will have to be changed to include gay people too."

The couple have been warned to expect protesters outside City Hall on the day.

"If there are, we're encouraging people not to engage with them," says Gráinne. "There will a lot of gay people at the ceremony, but there will a lot of heterosexual people there too, and if there is protesting, it'll be the first time they'll have encountered it. For security reasons people can only get into City Hall with their invitation. Just to make sure."

"The bottom line is that we will be surrounded by people who are rooting for us and are so happy for us, individually and together," says Shannon. "We've just been to New York to celebrate with our family and friends who cannot make it to the Belfast ceremony. We had dinner and a ceremony for 40 in the Viet Café art gallery. It was beautiful."

"I was high on happiness," says Gráinne. "There was so much love and support coming from everyone. I came out of it thinking everyone should get married!"