The founders of the Cereal Killer café can probably rest easy this week, as haters have a new startup uber hip business to target with their ire.
Shoot My Travel (shootmytravel.com) has tapped into tourists' desire for immaculate Instagram images of their journey, and now offers local photographers as part of its travel packages. No longer do you need to labour under the tyranny of the selfie stick. Surely this is the end of days.
Holiday snaps were more actively terrible in the age of home slideshow projectors, but when the audience shifted from the sofa of people’s living rooms to the social media of the entire world, holiday makers got smart and learned their angles. “Nowadays, if we don’t document it and put it online it’s like it didn’t happen,” says Valerie Lopez, Shoot My Travel’s founder, displaying a very loose grasp of reality or indeed sense.
With this in mind, here’s our short guide to how to use Instagram to enjoy real life.
DO openly protest all Instagram's archaic and insidiously anti-feminist community guidelines. When artist Rupi Kaur uploaded a photo featuring a menstrual blood stain on bedsheets it was banned, twice. Normal bloodstains are in the clear. Instagram also forbids female toplessness. The more photo rebuttal these policies get, the wiser the internet's brain shall grow.
DON'T post photos of marijuana or any involvement therewith. For that kind of carry on there's MassRoots, an insta knock-off photo site created by Silicon Valley smokers to retaliate against big tech companies that avoid drug culture, for some reason. This allows users to upload photos of their real best buds.
DO follow Princetagram, because his snaps are glam enough to restore faith n everything good and pure, ultimately proving that Prince media is not dead.
DON'T hire a professional instagram photographer, even if they can photoshop your cat's face into latte art. Refuse the bait. You're better than this.
