Heartening news for drivers, devastating news for anyone with ears: a scientist has created “the world’s safest song to listen to while driving”.
Safe In Sound was composed by professional musicians and a doctor by the name of Simon Moore. Aimed at young drivers in particular, the song is apparently the product of extensive scientific research into music that makes for "better braking, accelerating and alertness". What relief then for the parents of young drivers everywhere who need never worry again about precious Sorcha or darling Hugo totaling mummy's Land Rover.
Of course, there are absolutely no potholes in this ingenious (and possibly well-intentioned) plan to cut down on crashes, because if one thing’s for sure it’s that teenagers will certainly respond to a musical recommendation from a chartered psychologist with a “specialist knowledge of customer-brand personas”, whatever that means.
The other spanner in the works is that for the song to make any impact, you would need to listen to it on repeat, denying your innate personal freedoms and resisting the temptation to switch to Devil Music FM for a bit of respite.
Having heard the song, that situation seems as likely as your Volkswagen being environmentally friendly. Safe In Sound (available from Spotify and Soundcloud) sounds like the hold music at an orthodontist's surgery with Barry Manilow's deranged lovechild playing a Casio keyboard in the background.
Perhaps a more sensible road-safety strategy would be to simply avoid blaring AC/DC's Back in Black and Britney Spears' Toxic (the songs deemed most likely to make you crash). Dr Moore's research may also cause fans of Bob Marley, Metallica, Jay Z and Jamie Cullum (I defy you to find a Jamie Cullum fan) to reconsider their musical persuasions behind the wheel too, as reggae, heavy metal, hip hop and jazz were found to encourage bad driving.
That said, if you can endure all three minutes and 51 seconds of Safe In Sound without driving your car into a tree then congratulations.
