EOIN BUTLER'Sguide to singles, downloads and free audiostreams

JOHN & EDWARD FEATURING VANILLA ICE
Under Pressure/Ice Ice Baby
Sony ***

Three stars might seem generous for a musical pairing as conspicuously untalented as this lot. While undoubtedly a musical travesty (rescued only by a mammoth, pull-out-all-the- stops production), I’d still defy anyone to listen to it once and not emerge with a stupid grin on their face. My advice to Jedward, incidentally, would be to open credit union accounts. Lads, those next royalty cheques may have to last a long, long time.

HOT CHIP
One Life Stand
EMI ****

The title track from their already acclaimed fourth album is one of the most soulful and romantic tracks Hot Chip have conjured up to date. If you haven’t heard it yet, prepare to swoon.

STAND
The Living Kind
NWM ***

New York-based for many years, the Tallaght four-piece are now back in Ireland but still producing producing muscular blue-collar rock in the mould of Springsteen and The Hold Steady. They play Whelan’s in Dublin tomorrow night.

RAMMSTEIN
Ich Tu Dir Weh
Universal *

Rammstein’s last video took bad taste to new heights by doubling as an adult movie, co-starring members of the band and prostitutes. This time around it’s just the guys, gurning and headbanging to their own unlistenable brand of heavy metal music. And if I live another 100 years I, for one, will never understand its appeal.

JLS
One Shot
Epic* *

"You only get one shot, so make it count." Only the one? Not fair – because Britain's latest boyband sensations are four equally irritating candidates to aim for. JLS surprised many in the industry last year when their debut album outsold fellow X Factoralumnus Alexandra Burke by a whopping two to one. Teenage girls, then, are still buying albums, even if no one else is.