Who owns AILBHE MALONE's heart, is it love or is it art? Or is it cold, hard cash?

TRACK OF THE WEEK

My Wicked Heartby Diana Vickers. Every single that Diana Vickers has released thus far has been progressively less annoying than its predecessor, slowly trundling along the path towards listenability. So we reached My Wicked Heartwith joyfully open ears. A single with more hooks than JM Barrie, MWH is pretty damn good. Fun fact: Vicko plays the trumpet herself on the track.

There's been theusual "too sexy this, teenager that" kerfuffle over the new Miley Cyrus video, Who Owns My Heart.The clip shows Miles doing her best Amy-Winehouse-in-her-pants impression, before putting on her glad rags and heading out to a – oh my God, won't somebody think of the children – nightclub. The Parents Television Council of America moan predictably that "it is unfortunate she would participate in such a sexualised video". We're more worried about her lyrics, which earnestly mull "who owns my heart, is it love or is it art?"

N-DUBZ WATCH

Could there be a Dubz/McElderry duet in the offing? Young Joe wouldn't say no. "He was really supportive of me on The X Factor," he says of cheeky chappy Dappy. "I met him at the airport a few weeks ago. He was really nice, saying he was looking forward to hearing the album. He's a really nice lad. But we're quite different!"

In beauty news,the Bieber has lent his little Canadian name to another quality product: nail varnish. Claiming to be "inspired by his music", the six-colour range (mimicking his mental age?) already includes a lavender-coloured One Less Lonely Girl polish. Vom. Plus one named OMB (Oh My Bieber). We wonder if there's a colour to express how unimpressed our face is right now.

• Poor Amelle Sugababe has only gone and lost her driver's licence. 'Melle says she failed a breathalyser test because she had been out the night before, and had woken for an early drive. The judge didn't see eye to eye, and confiscated her licence for 14 months. We suppose she'll have to find a cab to take her round round until then.