BOOKING THE COOKS:For the past few months in this column, we have shared with you the culinary creations of many a rock band, DJ, comedian and musician. And while their love for food might come across in their recipes, we have never made sure they can actually cook a meal. Until now.
At noon on Sunday in Casa Habana at Body & Soul, comedian Jarlath Regan will be pitting his kitchen skills in a cook-off against the Leviathan satirist and Late Late Show house band singer Paddy Cullivan. As it will be the second day of the festival and some might be a little the worse for wear, we thought it best if each of the lads could recreate their ultimate hangover breakfast.
Three lucky punters from the audience will decide which man wins. The winner gets to pick a song for the loser to sing karaokestyle. Here's what they'll be cooking.
JARLATH’S FAMOUS FRY DOWN & TAKE IT EASY EGGS ON BREAD
INGREDIENTS
- 4 pork and apple sausages (skinless to prevent pork explosion)
- 2 large free-range eggs
- 2 Kelly’s “White in Black” Puddings
- 2 slices white batch loaf
- 50 paper towels (to soak up unwanted fat)
- 1 portion of regret
- 1 frying pan preheated to the temperature of the Earth’s core
- 1 dose of Uniflu cold and flu remedy
- 1 bottle Lucozade Sport
- 1 four-litre bottle still water
METHOD
Fry sausages and pudding together until brown. Break eggs into pan, making a weird omelette-looking thing. Consume all fluids and Uniflu while allowing to cook. At regular intervals look into the distance while your mind dredges up images from the night before in rich Technicolour. Once the contents of the pan are as hard as a frisbee, take out of pan and dry thoroughly using towels. Place in between two slices of batch. Add ketchup to taste. Devour. Regret.
PADDY’S SCHIZO BAGEL
Paddy’s hangover breakfast is for those who don’t believe in having to choose between things on a menu. In his world, menus are not about offering a selection – they are pamphlets that let you know what’s coming. When a waiter hands you a menu, the only way to respond is, “That all looks in order. Proceed.”
INGREDIENTS
- 1 plain bagel
- 2 cuts of smoked salmon
- Cream cheese
- 2 eggs
- Capers
- Squeeze of lemon juice
- 1 tbs freshly chopped dill
- 2 litres orange juice
METHOD
Toast bagel. Butter one side and, on the other, lather the cream cheese on in huge amounts, not thinly like a B&B owner would. Cook the eggs like Stanley Tucci did in Big Night. Place them on the buttered side. Drop the salmon on the cream-cheese side and sprinkle on the capers and lemon juice. Wash down with all the OJ.
Booking the Cooks at Body & Soul will also feature a blind taste test for the audience to get involved in. The winner will receive a one-night crash course in cocktail making for 12 people at Dublin’s Sugar Club
