Teen Times: The "mocks" begin this week. Those who haven't studied will come to know the folly of their ways, and those who have can look forward to rubbing it in everybody else's face. It's for these exams that people get confused between Mendel's first and second law of segregation, ruraíocht and fiannaíocht and of course motifs A through G in Tchaikovsky's Overture, writes Caoimhe Murray
I've told my parents it's the real Leaving Cert I'm studying for. But really that's going to be no excuse for doing abysmally. What will I say to them? I didn't think poetry was going to come up? For the "mocks" it's time to cut your losses - if you don't know Hopkins, Hardy will have to do, and if Yeats appears, just write about Hardy anyway.
I've always been quietly confident that I will know everything for the actual Leaving Cert, but now I'm not so sure. Everyone seems to have the greatest confidence in each other but not so in themselves. There are some people who want 580 points in their Leaving and I am sure they will succeed. What is less certain is - will I?
In the past few weeks I've come to the realisation that I have absolutely no life outside school. These days I watch the news as relief from the rigours of study, read the papers for fun, and step outside the house as a treat. All sports have been sidelined. Last year I was hockey training at least four times a week. It was with shock I realised a while ago that I hadn't been outside in three days except to get to and from the car.
In a recent Sunday newspaper I read a profile of Leinster schools rugby, which apparently ends in March. I don't know how many of those players also attempt the Leaving but, if Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is to be believed, events as insignificant as the Leaving Cert don't pose a problem, as most of their fathers own businesses which their sons can join straight after school. The CAO system might be fair but job interviews aren't. If you're vying for a position against the manager's nephew, who do you think will get it? Ah yes, fortunately for some, nepotism is alive and well in Ireland. Sigh.
More mocking thoughts: I was in Dingle, sorry, An Daingean, over the Christmas holidays agus dúirt buachaill liom gurb é an Ghaeilge a chéad theanga, that Irish is his first language, in other words cainteoir dúchasach is ea é! How can I be expected to compete with people like him? He will also be given an extra percentage in every single one of his exams - come on! I don't know what the Department of Education is thinking. Surely it should be promoting equality and fairness when marking an internationally acclaimed exam.
The whole Leaving Cert is beginning to take its toll. I can't enjoy a film, book, play or piece of music without trying to analyse it. Is the song in C sharp major or minor? Does the plant casually placed in the corner act as a symbol for something else? Does the cultural context of the film define and shape the characters or does it hold them back? Or has my constant questioning of everything addled my brain? (Don't answer that.)
My whole family are enduring my Leaving Cert year with me. They are bearing the brunt of all my mood swings, irrational outbursts and demands for total silence before I can go into the next room and listen to Gerald Barry's Piano Quartet No 1 - in an ambiguous key, if anybody's concerned. I wonder if there are people in the new Ireland who go to school not to win the Leinster schools senior cup, become captain of the Irish debate team or even get 600 points in their Leaving Certificate, but just for the simple joy of being educated. Isn't that what it should be about? Discuss.
Caoimhe Murray (18) is a pupil at St Angela's Ursuline Convent, Waterford
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