New Yorkers starved of affection are flocking to 'cuddle parties'. Soon Irish people could get to hug strangers in their pyjamas, writes Patricia Danaher

If hell truly is other people, then one of the latest phenomena in cities in the US such as New York and LA either makes total sense or is the last straw. Ever thought that total strangers would be willing to rendez-vous with others in their pyjamas and pay $40 (€31) for the privilege of three or four hours of non-sexual hugging and cuddling? Welcome to the Cuddle Parties, the new way for singles in cities to get, if not quite satisfaction, then basic affection. In a society that spends more on pets than on children annually, and now even makes animal reality TV shows, it was probably only ever a matter of time before this developed.

Started in New York four years ago by a couples therapist, in response to what was observed as a lack of touch and affection in the lives of many single adults, Cuddle Parties are now hosted regularly, and there are plans to host one in Ireland later this year. We laugh now . . .

"If going to the airport to be patted down by the security personnel is something you find yourself looking forward to, you probably need a cuddle party," Cuddle Party founder, Reid Mahalko told me.

"Everyone needs more touch in their lives and we have created a safe environment where the kind of affectionate touch which we all need can happen with clear boundaries," said Mahalko.

"The parties are as much about improving communication skills as about cuddling and you don't have to cuddle if you don't want to," he said. No alcohol is served and while therapists supervise the cuddle fests, there is no policing as such, just what are called "lifeguards", in the event that something goes wrong.

"Contrary to what a lot of people think, people who attend want to just have non-sexual fun and contact with some like-minded people, so people don't get loud or sexual during the event," says Mahalko. "Perverts tend not to show up."

The organisers claim that this kind of non-sexual contact promotes all manner of well-being, from improved self-esteem to weight loss to improved communication skills. Not strictly speaking therapy, and definitely not an orgy, they say, all pyjamas stay on, at least during the supervised cuddle party.

But surely some people must become aroused during these intimate, albeit non-sexual encounters with strangers?

"There's a big difference between people getting aroused and not being able to control themselves. You can't control arousal occurring, but we've found that people who come to our parties are essentially giving themselves three hours in which they can relax and during which no one is judging them or rejecting them because of who they are or what they look like," he said.

So why pyjamas and not regular clothes?

"Well in New York in particular, people use clothes like armour. Many people make judgments about others based on what clothes they're wearing, but pyjamas remove this and make the whole thing a lot more playful. In this scenario, no one can tell a CEO from a waitress and it's probably the one environment in the US where you won't get asked, 'What do you do?' first off," says Mahalko.

Although some people have dated after a cuddle party, Mahalko says most people who go are not there to hook up with potential dates.

He says many people have found roommates and business partners at these events. There are usually between 10 and 20 attendees and nothing is compulsory. If there is someone you don't like or don't want to cuddle, you don't have to - you can even be a cuddle voyeur.

"People who go out on dates after Cuddle Parties have new tools for speaking about what they want and don't want. It changes how people express themselves. We've had clients meet people a few days after they've been to a cuddle party - women say they've felt freer to walk up to someone in a pub and chat to them or ask for their phone number," he said.

Mahalko says it is a global situation that there is less and less touch in the lives of more and more people, as marriage, if it happens, tends to be later in life for many, and educated people usually move away from their families for work or study.

He believes many people have one-night stands not especially for the sex, but more to be touched and near another person. "I look forward to the day when people openly go up to one another and look for one-night cuddle stands. The skin is the largest organ in the body and is crying out for contact and nurture."

Kate Moser is in the process of training to become a hostess of Cuddle Parties and says she would love to host one in Ireland later this year. She says she was really surprised, at her first one in New York, at how open people were to cuddling.

"We walked in as strangers and we left as family," she said. "People are just starved for contact."

Could cuddle parties be the new middle path between HL Mencken's famous options of staying single and being miserable or getting married and wishing you were dead?

For information on upcoming events, see www.cuddleparty.com