WHAT AN outrage! Here we have a zero-budget horror film of the lowest imaginable quality (a Saw compote drizzled with Friday …

WHAT AN outrage! Here we have a zero-budget horror film of the lowest imaginable quality (a Sawcompote drizzled with Friday the 13thjus) that only made it into cinemas because it was shot in 3-D.

SCAR 3-D *

Directed by Jed Weintrob. Starring Angela Bettis, Kirby Bliss Blanton 18 cert, lim release, 94 min

Now, such a beast need do only one simple thing to justify its existence: throw stuff at us. It doesn't matter what it is. Some blood might be nice. Decapitated heads always make the punters jump. What do we get in Scar? Nothing. The film churns on for a full 94 minutes without bothering to fling so much as a tattered tendon towards the camera.

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I mean, you're hardly going to bother attending to the plot. This squalid little film follows Joan (Angela Bettis) as she returns to the town where, some years earlier, a maniac in a beret carried out a number of atrocities. The deranged beatnik tied Joan and her best friend to adjacent cots. Then, while slicing up her pal, he dared Joan to tell him to put the poor girl out her ever-increasing misery. Everyone thinks the maniac is now dead. But, if that is the case, then who is chopping up students down by the lake? You know how these things go.

The film is so shabbily made that the audience may be tempted to reverse the usual practice and throw stuff - rotten fruit or whatever - at the guilty screen.

Donald Clarke

Donald Clarke

Donald Clarke, a contributor to The Irish Times, is Chief Film Correspondent and a regular columnist