They go on about Michelin stars 
They can go and stick them up their arse
Forget Michelin squire, if you want a spare tyre
Try a coddle an' a few bleedin' jars

Coddle, a rasher-and-sausage stew beloved of Dubs since time immemorial. Such is the devotion that The Hairy Bowsies have to this humble local dish, they’ve written a song about it. If you are not already familiar with this comedy duo’s outstanding musical repertoire and fervent nationalist beliefs, then you should make a date to see them at the upcoming Vodafone Comedy Festival.

Set amongst the picturesque, grassy knolls of Dublin’s Iveagh Gardens, this is a place that the lads reckon should be used for other activities when it’s not filled with festivals. “I believe it is an Irishman’s right and duty to lug a crate of cider out to any of the former British pleasure gardens and reclaim what is rightfully ours.”

We should point out that it is great to see that The Hairy Bowsies will be back on stage again soon. For they were so depressed when their ballad Spit on the Brits didn't get accepted to represent Ireland in the Eurovision, it didn't look they could ever face the public again. But as band member Scribbler O'Donohoe explains, "while the song itself was very popular with the people, it was prohibited as a condition in the Good Friday Agreement." They took one for the team. Bowsies and Gents.

And while they still have an impassioned hatred against our former rulers, it wouldn’t be fair to say that they are equally vitriolic about its people. For instance, when they speak of their favourite Irish food dish, coddle, they refer to it as, “the Oliver Reed of the food world.” To add greater depth to that statement, vocalist Ding Dong Denny O’Reilly also told me: “We would be a lot better off in Dublin today if we got rid of all this modern microwave rubbish and best-before dates – a coddle was best before it got cold and best after 25 pints.”

Just make sure you don’t put any carrots into your coddle for, as The Hairy Bowsies would advise, “anything orange doesn’t belong in a truly Irish dish”.

INGREDIENTS
8oz rashers
1lb Irish pork sausages
1 cup chicken stock
6 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into thick slices
2 medium onions, peeled and sliced
2 tablespoons of freshly chopped parsley

METHOD
Cut the rashers into strips. Bring the stock up to the boil in a medium saucepan. Drop in the sausages and the bacon and let them simmer for five minutes so that they can cook and flavour the stock. Remove the sausages and bacon with a slotted spoon and keep the liquid. Cut each sausage into four or five chunks. Lash in the spuds, onions, sausages and bacon into the pot.

Cover and simmer gently for about an hour. Add the parsley and some black pepper and serve in a bowl.

The Vodafone Comedy Festival takes place in Dublin's Iveagh Gardens, Dublin, from July 24th-27th