John, a businessman, joined Elite Introductions last February. He had made a New Year's resolution to make an active attempt to meet someone two years after separating from his wife.

"It took me about a month to pluck up the courage," he says. "I can take up hobbies, but that takes a lot of time. At my age, I wouldn't feel comfortable going out on the club scene.

"I'm in my mid-40s and all my friends are married. Christmas does prey on your mind when you are single." The festive season brings into focus the fact that he has no sense of home any more. He has to make a major effort to make things fun for the children when they visit and then he has to take on both parenting roles.

Then there are the parties. "I have an invitation to a party on Saturday week. It's for couples, and that's tricky," he says. Although he hasn't met the new love of his life yet, he has made a close friend and some acquaintances through the dating agency. Meeting other people in similar circumstances can also be of help. "Being single all of a sudden is a shock to the system. It devalues you and you lose confidence. You must learn new social skills," he says.