I brought my brood along to Kiddies Kuts thinking, "If they can handle my kids, they can handle anything." Think "hyperactive" and "scissors" and you get the idea.
Usually I trim my two youngest children's dreadlocks in their sleep and snip their fringes just enough for them to see. But with school due to start soon (thank you, God) it seemed a good idea to try to tame summer's wild curls.
Kiddies Kuts is a hairdressing salon designed exclusively for children, from new-born babies to pre-teens. Two returned emigrants, Frances O'Gorman and Shane Donnelly, the parents of two children aged five and 18 months, thought of the idea when they returned to Dublin and couldn't find a salon willing to cut their children's hair. They say Kiddies Kuts is Ireland's only hair salon for children only, and plan to open eight more by the end of the year. Frances and Shane lived for 13 years in New York and Miami, where children's hair salons are plentiful.
At 2.30 p.m. on a Thursday, I rang and made an appointment with a receptionist who carefully noted each child's name. By 3 p.m. we were there. The kids found it before I did, on the lower level of the Blackrock Shopping Centre.
Bessa (4) and Sienna (7) spotted the balloons and Finn (2) was instantly attracted by the brightly coloured plastic Noddy cars. He made a beeline for one and climbed into it before we could even introduce ourselves to the stylists. He held out his hand, demanding "money" to make the car move because he thought it was a fun ride.
The cars were cunningly disguised barber's chairs. As Finn turned the steering wheel and pushed the buttons, the hairdresser whipped a smock around his neck, lightly sprayed his hair with water and began to snip.
Her swiftness was merciful, not so much for Finn, who was too busy driving to notice Baby's First Haircut, but for me. As I watched his soft, auburn locks tumble from his head, I suppressed an urge to burst into tears.
Somebody handed me a cappuccino from a real espresso machine and a jar of chocolate chip cookies to calm my nerves. As I sipped gratefully, the stylist treated Finn's locks as if they were diamonds, carefully letting them drop, not onto the floor, but onto a platform cunningly incorporated into the car. She then gathered the curls into an envelope and promised to post me the precious locks, mounted on a laminated First Haircut Certificate.
All the same, I wish I had kept him in corkscrew curls, like the Victorians, and I am not sure how I'll feel getting his curls in the post, like a macabre ransom note.
Bessa had no such sentiments. "Finn looks like a prince," she declared from a Noddy car on the other side of the salon, where she and her sister were being pampered by their own personal stylists, while watching Rugrats on their own individual televisions. Heaven.
Sienna wanted her hair "puffy and curly". This would be a challenge because Sienna's hair is long, thick and straight. The stylist trimmed the ends of Sienna's hair and, by the time she had finished the blow-drying, she had Sienna convinced that long, straight hair is beautiful.
Meanwhile, Bessa, who has curls in abundance (nature is cruel to sisters) was looking suspiciously at her stylist, who had two four-inch metal hairclips fastened on her sleeve. "You're not going to stick me with those, are you?" Bessa asked.
Where Finn's curls were dispatched, Bessa's were dressed with styling spray and "scrunched" to perfection, giving Jean Harlow a run for her money.
"This place is great. You get a nice haircut and a balloon and a lollipop," Sienna declared.
The final bill was £34, £12 each for the girls, who had their hair washed, cut and blow-dried, and £10 for Finn, whose hair was sprayed, cut and styled.
This is a lot of money for haircuts but it still compares favourably to prices elsewhere, particularly at weekends, which is the only time many working parents can manage to bring their children for haircuts. On Monday to Thursday before 5 p.m. children under 12 are charged £8 at Peter Mark salons. But on Fridays and Saturdays girls are charged the full adult price, £17.50 each.
Boys inexplicably cost less, at £13 each, although Peter Mark would not have touched Finn's hair; the salon says it is not covered by insurance for children under three years old.
To compare the prices, if you go to Kiddies Kuts on a weekend you are getting a bargain, and if you go during the week you are paying a few pounds more.
The children have a fun experience, instead of being made to feel awkward in an adult salon. And, considering that most salons will not touch babies' and toddlers' hair, Kiddies Kuts is providing a service you can't get anywhere else . . . except your own kitchen.
Kiddies Kuts, Blackrock Shopping Centre, Co Dublin (01-2836566)