Despite a big push by Polydor, Boyzone still couldn't dislodge Cher from the Number One spot in the UK Singles Charts. Cher has hogged pole position for five weeks now, and only the mighty Spice Girls look likely to bump her off the top.

Following the success of last year's "Bowie Bonds" issue, Michael Jackson is planning to float himself on the stock market and net around $100 million from the deal. No word on whether Wacko will also have himself cryogenically frozen and thawed out when his shares have trebled in value.

Unlucky, unlucky, unlucky: poor waif Kylie Minogue has been dropped by her record company, following disastrous sales of her 1998 album, Kylie Minogue. We suggest she change her surname to Imbruglia.