THE Family Mediation Service has four mediators, three in Dublin and one in Limerick. After April there will be six mediators in Dublin and two in Limerick. The service, which started in 1986 and is under the auspices of the Department of Equality and Law Reform, deals with between 300 and 400 couples per year, estimates its coordinator Mary Lloyd. The service is free.

"The issues which couples want to resolve when they come to us include arrangements for parenting, finances and the family home," she explains. She notes a big difference between couples who have been for counselling and those who have not: "The ones who have been for counselling have dealt with the pain and sadness of the ending of what they thought would last forever.

She believes that counselling is very beneficial: "If you are in a crisis it is difficult to think of the consequences of a decision you might make."

The aim of the Mediation Service is to help the husband and wife to make the transition from being a couple to being "two separate people who continue to be parents".

At the end of mediation an informal agreement is drawn up based on the couple's decisions: "They could bring this agreement to their solicitor if they want a divorce now, and take it from there. Or they could come, back to us to review the agreement if they wanted to change, or finalise any arrangements." Brainstorming during mediation can help couples to see that they have many options. With regard to the family home, for example, one spouse might be able to get a loan from his or her family to buy out the other spouse.

FOR low income couples, there is the possibility of selling the family home and both spouses buying a new house under the shared ownership scheme run by Dublin Corporation and Dublin Council Council: "If your income is below £14,000 or £15,000 per year, you can apply to purchase a house jointly with the Corporation or the County Council. You put up 50 per cent of the cost of the house and they pay the rest. You then pay them rent as well as paying your own mortgage.

As for the children: "Mediation gives parents a chance in a non adversarial situation to decide on what is best for the children. Parents are given the option of bringing their children in for a mediation session, so that they can hear decisions made by their parents in relation to them," she points out. "If people can communicate during a break up, they can build on this in the future, not as spouses but as parents. They will need to keep lines of communication open with regard to their children as the years go by. Parents are forever.