The terrible legacy of a young suicide

HE SEEMED a happy boy. A week earlier he, had gone on a school trip to England

HE SEEMED a happy boy. A week earlier he, had gone on a school trip to England. They visited Stratford and took in a West End show. Then around 10 p.m. on Wednesday, October 9th, Robert Brunner went to his bedroom with the family's .22 rifle and shot himself dead. He was 14.

Questions are the brutal legacy, of a suicide. But the fact that a 14 year old boy felt he had nothing to live for has left more questions than most. In the village of Killorglin, Co Kerry, where he went to school, and in Fossa, where his family lives, these are tinged with guilt and fear. "Everyone feels culpable," one man said. There is the fear of "copycat" suicides.

It is believed Robert left a note for his family. In it he wrote about the angst that most 14 year olds go through. He mentioned the pressure of exams and the slagging he got about his height. He was, apparently, small for his age.

And then there were the references to Kurt Cobain. According to one local source, Robert was obsessed with the Nirvana lead singer. In April 1994, Cobain shot himself in a haze of Valium and heroin at his home outside Seattle.

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The songs of the 27 year old singer were described by one American journalist at the time of his death as having the "perfect pitch for naked anguish." His lyrics of hopelessness resonated with millions of teenagers and twentysomethings.

But those who want answers about the death of a boy in a Kerry village have also talked about bullying. There was speculation that Robert may have been the butt of jokes about his German father. However, a Garda source said there was no evidence that Robert had been bullied in the Killorglin secondary school, which has more than 700 pupils.

HIS FATHER is a German businessman working in the area and his mother is Irish. He had an older sister and brother. The family is by one man as intensely private about their son's suicide. They have lived in the area for a number of years and Robert had spent three years at the secondary school.

Senator Dan Neville of Fine Gael, as president of the newly formed Irish Association of Suicidology, says in this case the shock and trauma created by a suicide is taken on by the whole community as well as the family.

"If you were ever at a suicide funeral you can see that shock. And it would cause extreme trauma in a school group." The school held a Mass for Robert a week after his death and pupils - wrote poems - about him. It is a mixed secondary, school.

In the US, according to Senator Neville, special programmes have been created for the counselling of children after a school suicide. He said it was "dangerous, unfair and wrong" to put this suicide down to bullying.

Others say it is simplistic to conclude that his death was a copycat gesture by a besotted pop fan who wanted to die like his idol. Something of what was happening in Robert's head may be revealed in the inquest into his death.

What people are asking down there is why did he do it and what should we have done to prevent it," Senator Neville says. "People should be aware that there is assistance available. I always mention the Samaritans, family doctors and the clergy."

According to Senator Neville, Cobain type suicides were quite widespread among young fans, "partly because of the glamourising of the act of suicide by Cobain. However, around Seattle there have been fewer copycat suicides, as the horror of what he had done was closer to home.

There has been a dramatic increase in suicide levels between the ages of 15 and 30. The suicide rate for people under 25 has increased by 400 per cent in the two decades between 1974 and 1994. Men go for violent means shooting, hanging or drowning. Childhood suicide is also rising, with deaths now even in the pre teen group.

For parents the death of a child is trauma enough, without that death being something they feel they could have prevented. "Parents will always blame themselves and ask where they went wrong, according to Dr Michael, Kelleher, head of the National Suicide Research Foundation. "And had the suicide not occurred it's very unlikely that parents would question their own parenting methods.

In the past people blamed the victim, although that victim was usually an adult. Now we question the society that the person felt they could no longer live with. Dr Kelleher advises parents always to listen to their children, even when it sounds like a moody teenage melodrama.

"Any threat of suicide or any voicing of words like `life isn't worth living', or `what's the point of it all?' should never be dismissed, but should be teased out. Parents should try to keep an open contact with a child, without prying and without becoming a member of the thought police."

The foundation researched 100 suicides in Cork. In those suicides under the age of 25, only one in five had received treatment.

DR KELLEHER believes there are only two factors which could have created the increase in young suicides. The first would be an increase in depression generally, and there is no evidence of this. The second is a change in the culture, which has lifted the taboo from suicide and, in the case of Kurt Cobain, made it seem like a glorious end.

While most teenagers can wallow in the lyrics of a song on the virtues of suicide and never contemplate killing themselves, other more vulnerable" children can be seriously affected, Dr Kelleher says.

"The borders of adolescence are being extended all the time, with children now entering the culture of adolescence much earlier and they may be well into their 20s before they are in any way independent."

He agrees it is almost impossible to identify a single cause for suicide. "The very young suicides often can be in response to minimal discipline procedures." Alcohol and drug abuse can be a factor in older adolescents.

He likens theory around suicide to chaos theory. "Often with a suicide like this, from the parents point of view and from the schools point of view it can come like a thunderbolt from nowhere. It may well be that a trivial event can trigger a catastrophic outcome."

Catherine Cleary

Catherine Cleary

Catherine Cleary, a contributor to The Irish Times, is a founder of Pocket Forests