HERE they come, walking down the street, getting the funniest looks from everyone they meet. "Hey, hold on, you're what's-his-name? I know, you're James Blunt!", writes Jim Carroll
Unfortunately for the shy, sensitive singer-songwriter in question, the one who will get that accusation relentlessly thrown at them by every corner- boy, traffic warden and smart- alec hack, he is not James Blunt.
He is, however, trying very hard to be Blunt. He will share a similar backstory to Blunt, one which was carefully enhanced for mass consumption and which now reads like the stuff of a Richard Curtis screenplay. He will probably now employ the same stylist as Blunt, or at least go to the same tailor.
Our friend is one of the new Blunts, the identikit young males with tousled hair, cheese-grater stubble and battered acoustic guitars. In videos and promo photos, the new Blunts will be captured carrying the weight of the world on their leather- jacketed shoulders. The image is soulful and brooding as the singer considers such heavy questions as "do I have dandruff?" and "did I leave the fridge door open?"
Photographers and video directors are paid good money to capture a new-school Heathcliff or Darcy by way of David Gray and Nick Drake. What emerges, however, is a more grotesque and surreal take on Après Match's Joe Duffy sketch. Instead of three Duffys shite-talking away to the nation, you have a bunch of lads trying to rewrite You're Beautiful without using the word "you're" or "beautiful". Big laughs, people, big laughs.
Two of the new Blunts looking to make your acquaintance are James Morrison and Paolo Nutini. Rest assured there will be more along. The industry has not gotten where it is by taking chances on innovative, exciting talent. It's always hopped on bandwagons, closed eyes, crossed fingers and hoped to get a bit of a ride out of it.
Such cogging shouldn't always end in despair. Look at TV king- pin Dick Wolf. This production hard-chaw is now on his fourth Law & Order spin-off and shows little danger of running out of steam or stories. As long as there is a crime to be ripped from the headlines, there is another Law & Order show waiting to be made.
But the pop world still gets it wrong over and over again. This time around, it's obvious that Morrison's record label is taking no chances with him.
When you see the album cover, you may well think that Blunt has managed to cobble together a new record inbetween posing for paparazzi pics with his latest supermodel squeeze. In fact, if you hold it up to the light at a 90- degree angle, stand on one leg and tilt your head slightly to the left, Morrison actually turns into Blunt for a split second.
With a look which says "I'm sensitive, me" and a bunch of tunes which other people wrote to say "listen, do you hear what I'm saying to you, I'm really, really sensitive, me", Morrison has made a connection with audiences looking for a replace- ment Blunt. It turns out to be a large crowd - his album and single are selling like soggy paninis. This will be of interest to Blunt's managers and handlers, so expect another album of You're Beautiful demos, remixes and alternative takes before very long.
What Morrison's success also shows is that the mum rock market, first spotted by Discotheque a couple of years
ago during a slack period when nothing else was going on that we could put into 700 words, shows no signs of slippage.
Those who are buying Morrison's rubbish Undiscovered album are also the ones who are buying Snow Patrol, Coldplay, David Gray, Paolo Nutini and, according to Amazon.com, the Australian James Morrison. Some have even picked up the new Ronan Keating album before leaving it down again. When it comes to the music, it seems that Keating is just not Blunt enough.
