Following her expulsion from the US last year for being a secret agent, Anna Chapman is now hosting a bizarre television show – to the bemusement of her fellow Russians, writes DIARMAID FLEMING
SINCE HER return to Moscow after being outed as a Russian agent last summer, Anna Chapman has been on a relentless campaign to stay in the public eye. If the second show in her new documentary series Secrets of the Worldon Russian TV tonight is anything like the first, there is a treat in store for connoisseurs of abysmal television.
Seeking to exploit Russian respect for superstition and the unexplained, the first show examined the story of a boy from Dagestan whose skin became mysteriously marked with letters supposedly from the Koran. The hour-long show began with sinister men in Islamic garb grappling with the baby. It ended with flying saucers and “alien figures” dancing on ice.
A manic commentary and music that included wailing, shrieking and even squelching accompanied a constant blur of dizzying picture sequences. Chapman played ringmistress with a roving reporter and a sceptical scientist, whose startlingly bleached blond hair and Wille O’Dea-style moustache made him look like he had had an accident with some test tubes.
The marks on the child were scrutinised and Padre Pio, crucifixion and stigmata discussed before Chapman headed to a mosque to investigate further. Apart from her headscarf, she was dressed more like someone heading out to a night club or to seduce top-secret information out of someone. (The action halted briefly for repeated shots of her disembarking from gravity-defying black velvet heels.) The arrival of UFOs at the end was, well, the end.
Muscovites who had tuned in mocked her heavy country accent – she’s from Volgograd in the south. “She was clearly reading text badly, with a heavy southern accent,” said Roman Churikov, a translator. “[It would be] like someone presenting the BBC news with a strong regional accent, and with stiff, unnatural delivery.”
He was not impressed at her appearance either. “She looks good, but she has a good stylist,” he said. “There are plenty of prettier girls than her in Russia if that’s how she’s to be judged. And while men seem to rave about her in the west, she’s not such a big deal here. I reckon her fame will last a few months, before she will disappear.”
Women were even less complimentary. “Spies should be not seen and not heard,” said Vika, a teacher. “She wasn’t much of a spy so I don’t see why we should be so interested in her now.” Journalist Olga Chernysheva said: “There was something mysterious and enigmatic about Anna Chapman before, but not now. This has ruined whatever mystique there was. They must be paying her an awful lot of money.”
That might be the answer to the mystery of this programme. Her plea bargain in the US included a ban on making any income related to her conviction. While refusing to talk about her work as a spy, she has been far from shy since departing the undercover world. She has taken part in a lingerie photo-shoot, been appointed as a bank adviser and a leader of the youth wing of the ruling United Russia party. She popped up at a rocket launch in Kazakhstan and the lift-off was nearly ignored in the press frenzy.
The excitement seen in the west is not shared by ordinary Russians so it is anybody’s guess how the new show will fare.
