British drama has a reputation as a classy counterpoint to the schlockier American equivalent when in fact it is often as ridiculous as anything produced stateside. Consider Line of Duty, which, in lieu of a functioning storyline, gave us Adrian Dunbar banging on about wee donkeys. Or Peaky Blinders, where some of the best acting was by Cillian Murphy’s flatcap.
The latest in that cheesy tradition is Nightsleeper (BBC One, Sunday, 9pm), a thriller that, much like an Irish Rail timetable, swings between fantastical and spirit-crushing. We begin as the overnight service from Glasgow to London is about to depart, and a scuffle on the concourse gives ex-cop Joe Roag (Joe Cole) the opportunity to show his policeman prowess by nabbing the thief. But Joe’s interesting night is just getting started. A hacker has infiltrated the train – a heist later revealed to be merely a curtain-raiser to a takeover of the entire British train network.
It’s high-concept hokum and about as much fun as 40 minutes at Limerick Junction. In London, cybersecurity expert Abby (Alexandra Roach) is about to fly off on holiday to Marrakesh. Informed that the night train from Glasgow has been hijacked, she contacts Joe via satellite phone.
They bond by singing Kate Nash’s Foundations down the line – a scene so toe-curling the viewer risks a terminal case of third-hand embarrassment. Oh, and there’s a twist. Joe is somehow involved in the train takeover – and ends up among a handful of passengers left on board as it pulls out of the station in Motherwell.
Nightsleeper review: new BBC train thriller is as fantastical as an Irish Rail timetable
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Nightsleeper hasn’t come out of nowhere. It is one of several recent dramas tapping into the spirit of action classic Die Hard. The BBC has already given the format a go with Vigil, which tried to be Die Hard on a submarine. Apple TV’s Hijack, for its part, put Idris Elba in the Bruce Willis role of everyman hero. He had the charisma to carry the part. Cole, by contrast, is far too much of a damp squib to shoulder an explosive thriller.
The other problem is that, for a high-octane caper, Nightsleeper simply doesn’t have enough oomph. There is never any sense of danger, and even when the tension does ratchet up, it is immediately undercut by another cheesy sequence – for instance, that atrocious Kate Nash back-and-forth.
If there is a any comfort for Irish viewers it’s at least that the nefarious plan sketched out by Nightsleeper would never work on our rail network. The hijackers’ schemes would inevitably be frustrated by the train departing half an hour late – assuming it wasn’t replaced by a bus at the last minute. With another five episodes, Nightsleeper may yet pick up the pace. For now, the BBC’s silly train thriller is on the slow-boat to nowhere.
