Detox programmes
Boots Total Body Cleanse - €19.95 for a five-day programme
Highs: This is the easiest of the store-bought options to follow and is the only one which compels you to drink large quantities of water as part of the programme. In addition to a single vitamin supplement taken each morning, a phial of fairly pleasant-tasting liquid is added to at least one litre of water to be consumed throughout the morning. At just five days, it's the shortest of the detox programmes tried, which might make it the most realistic option for the weak of will. Not only that, if you start it on a Monday you can be finished in time for a Saturday night re-tox.
Lows: It's dear and, at five days, many might feel it just isn't challenging enough to combat a booze-sodden, sugar-coated Christmas meat-fest, although you could buy a second kit and continue it for an additional five days.
Verdict: Dear, but good for what ails ya.
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Biofirm Danish Detox Plan - €35.95 for a 30-day programme
Highs: The Danes are clearly not afraid of a bit of detoxing, if this is anything to go by. It is the longest of the programmes tried and consequently has the potential to have the most beneficial long-term effect. It's fairly simple to follow, requiring nothing more taxing than taking six sizeable tablets every day in addition, of course, to drinking bucketloads of water and forswearing meat, dairy products, alcohol and sugar, among other things.
Lows: Swallowing many tablets is not as easy as it may sound - PriceWatch was forever forgetting to take them at the right time and seemed to be playing catch-up from the beginning. They're also on the hefty side, so consumption was not always (or indeed ever) entirely pleasant. Their vile smell doesn't help matters much. At nearly 36 it's a big enough investment - particularly if you suspect you might lack the discipline to stick it out.
Verdict: Long lasting. Very, very long-lasting.
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Dr Vogel's Detox Box - €39.99 for a 10-day programme
Highs: If you like mixing potions first thing in the morning then this is definitely the one for you. You have to add 12-15 drops of Milk Thistle Complex to a small glass of water and knock it back, and repeat the process with Calendula Complex and Solidago Complex as well as Frangula Complex tablets (no, we have no idea what any of them are, either) before you're good to go. The programme lasts for 10 days, after which there were still plenty of tinctures and tablets left for a further detox or two at some future point.
Lows: Some people might find all the mixing and counting of little droplets of fluids time-consuming and ever so slightly (or intensely) aggravating. The resulting drinks taste uniformly vile as well, which does not lend this programme a great deal of appeal.
Verdict: Too much hassle and some horribleness
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Water - €0.00 for a 10-day programme
Highs: This is the cheapest, most natural, easiest and most flexible of the programmes tried. As with the other programmes, meat, dairy, alcohol, caffeine and processed foods were dropped for a 10-day period. The result? PriceWatch felt as good, if not better, than after completing any of the others, with the added feelgood factor derived from not having spent any money at all.
Lows: It is definitely harder to stick to this "programme". Because it costs nothing, there is no financial imperative to see it through to its healthy conclusion. Unless you work near a water cooler, you'll either have to drink warm tap water throughout the day, bring in your own water or buy it bottled, which adds to the cost, although the same could be said of all the other programmes.
Verdict: Free and 100 per cent natural.
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