We buy presents for people we see only once a year, and nothing for those who love us all year round. A diamond identity tag might make up for those years of neglect, writes Rosita Boland.
Christmas - as the retailers keep telling us from September onward - is a time for giving. Now folks, that doesn't mean only giving to your two-legged nearest and dearest. Should you be the owner of a pampered pet, Christmas is but one more opportunity to indulge them yet further. And there's no shortage of imagination out there when it comes to getting punters to part with cash for their favourite critters.
Pampered pets fall more or less neatly into the categories of cats and small dogs, although it is quite jaw-dropping what you can find for your bird, should you search hard enough on the Internet, where most pampered pet products can be found. How about this, at www.pamperedpetscatalog.com, for the caged bird in your life?
"The Bird Sitter Video was designed to create a video that would give your pet birds the opportunity to experience life the way they were meant to [ie torment them]. Expose birds to the sights and sounds of hundreds of parrots enjoying everyday life in a flock. This video will give your bird constant mental stimulus, making them happier and healthier. A daily dose of Bird Sitter is like giving your bird a self-esteem vitamin."
So now you know what to get for the bird who needs a little lift.
If you think your bird needs a challenge in his life, well, pick up a Feathered Phonetics CD on www.petalia.com.au. "Five fun-packed CDs to teach your bird to speak, sing and quote cheeky phrases. Volume 1-5 each contains 96 tracks of sounds that you can customise into speech lessons for your bird. Vol 1 is an ideal starter CD with tracks such as Hello, Goodbye, Who Let the Cat In?, and Help! I'm Trapped Inside a Bird's Body . . . All five CDs are great for parakeets, cockatiels, parrots and cockatoos (can even be used for canaries). Yours for AU$32 (€20), and endorsed by the Australian Veterinary Association."
If your bird is home alone with your cat, the feathers may be flying about who gets control of the remote, since there's also a Cat Sitter Video.
"This video is specially designed to stimulate and entertain your cat with hours of feline fun while you are away. Filled with the sights and sounds of birds [although if there's already a real one in the room, this may prove a little more temptation than feline flesh can bear], butterflies, squirrels, gerbils and fish. Your cat will feel like they are enjoying the outdoors from the comfort and protection of your home."
How about some nice new clothes for Christmas? Prize for the most tasteless item on sale has got to be the Tsunami Raincoat Couture Collection For Dogs & Cats, for $40 (€34): "When the rains are at their worst, this jacket is at its best. Helps keeps pets comfortable, cool and dry".
Should you want your hound to be kept warm by more luxurious means you can go to www.iloveindia.com, where we are told: "Coats made of goat or other animals' fur look quite funny on dogs." Just don't tell the animal rights people.
On the same site, you can also pick up jewellery, including "paw-lets (anklets) that make a tinkling sound".
It adds: "For more up-to-date dogs, the Swarovski crystal tags are the perfect jewellery pieces."
You know what they say about diamonds being a girl's best friend? Well, they can also be a dog's best friend. At www.pamperedpetscatalog.com you can get a "large diamond ID dog bone in white gold, encrusted with colourless gem diamonds . . . recommended for teacup and toy breeds" at the bargain price of $4,750 (€4,031).
You might want to check that you've spent an equal amount on diamonds for that special two-legged person in your life, though, if you want a peaceful Christmas.
And if your hound is a little nervous of going walkies, here's what you do. You put him in a stroller from www.catsanddogspa.com, and walk him that way instead, thus cancelling out what is the essence of dog - going for walks.
"Whether you are going on a short walk around the block, or a long walk through the park, a Pet Stroller gives you the freedom to take your family pet anywhere you go. Carole C Wilbourne, noted animal behaviourist, says: 'Strolling together gets your pets outdoors while also greatly reducing stress and anxiety normally associated with transportation.' The last time you went to the beach, back woods, or park did you sigh thinking of how much your furry friend would have loved to join you? Pet owners often must leave their pets behind when they go out. Natural and unnatural environments aren't always safe for pets these days. A Pet Stroller offers pet lovers the option to say 'YES' to sharing more outings with their fur-bearing family members."
Barking mad, or what?
