Men, they say, are not that complicated. Their needs and their inhibitions, their hopes and their fears only take 204 pages to explain in How to Understand What Men Want ... and turn it to your advantage!, a book which has lingered consistently around the top of the various best-seller lists since it arrived on the American market earlier this year.

Authors Bradley Gerstman, Christopher Pizzo and Richard M. Seldes describe themselves as "three regular guys" who "give women a rare but honest look inside men's minds". The Rules from a man's point of view, in other words.

It would seem the discerning American woman is in deep turmoil about her menfolk. and the book's promises to enlighten the dazed female as to "What he really means when he says `I'll call you',", or to explain "why some men cheat on the woman they love", have proved an irresistible, page-turning formula.

In fact, as Christopher Pizzo himself told The Irish Times from his Manahattan accountancy firm, men have been buying the book for their womenfolk - so accurate is the picture painted of what men want women to believe they want. And Pizzo has no qualms about claiming what he and his two white-collar co-authors ("Brad's a lawyer and Rich is a doctor") want is what every man wants. "Men," he points out, "are not all that complicated."

In 11 easy chapters they are all worked out - from "Inside the Mind and Heart of a Professional Man", through "The First Encounter", "The First Phone Call" and on to "The Ugly Truth". (A chapter subdivided in to five ugly truths, amongst which are "Men use women for sex" and "When a man says `I'm not ready for a commitment', he means `I'm not ready for a commitment . . . with you'.") Chapter four, the one about the phone call, proves in 20 sub-sectioned pages how fraught an issue it is, and goes on to explain what will make a man decide to call or not. "No matter how well the first encounter went, men still dread making that first phone call," we are told. "If he calls her, he will be placing his cards on the table and opening himself up to possible rejection. Will she remember me? Maybe she will screen her calls and won't pick up the phone when she hears his voice. Should I leave a message? If he does leave a message on her machine or with her room-mate, she may not call him back." A man will call, apparently, if he thinks positively back to what attracted him in the first place: "She's pretty; she laughed at my story about the jokers at work; she touched my hand; before she left, she took my hand and stared up at me."

Amusing as this is - and doubtless many American readers were indeed amused - one keeps reading in hopes of a glimmer of greater insight, particularly if "one" happens to be a female involved in what "the guys" describe as "the dating game".

Gillford D'Souza, a consultant counsellor and relationship therapist at the Awakenings Centre in Rathfarnham, Dublin, describes the book as "very useful for anyone who is trying just to get to the stage of meeting people and starting a relationship. But it falls down on telling you how to carry it through from there. It goes into no detail about how to keep a relationship going."

Though ostensibly a book about what men want, he says, it is really a book about men's insecurities.

"Women have a huge power over men. Just as do women, men have an enormous fear of rejection: but there is a pressure on them to appear fearless, to deny those feelings. Often, too, they are less likely than women to be in touch with their own feelings.

Men need security, love and understanding, as well as a sense of freedom and male bonding."

So, it seems men want mollycoddling women who will at the same time indulge their every whim to go out with the lads. The authors tell us: "We need to spend time with other men. Male bonding is one of the most cherished rituals for professional men . . . it means more to him than just a simple night out. It is his time to be a man among men."

They go on, in a chapter on "The First Date": "Women are astonished when we tell them what many professional men look for in a woman on the first date. Men like women who are nice. Men are suckers for kindness and consideration. Understand how a man feels on a first date. We are worried that the drinks aren't cold enough, that the food won't be good enough. We worry that she doesn't like our choice of restaurant, or that she doesn't like us."

In one breath an apologia for men behaving badly; in another an appeal to be treated gently - and a demonstration that nothing is too obvious for publication when it comes to the fraught world of relationships.

Pizzo concedes that some might see this as a book of excuses, but argues that the authors are merely setting out the man's stall.

"We could have tried to start a movement to get men to treat women better, but what we are advocating is open communication. A woman should know how a man sees things, and if she still has a problem with his going out with the guys she should say it."

Failing to state plainly what one means is a block upon which many relationships founder, says D'Souza. "Relationships do not benefit from being mysterious and coy. It leads to misassumptions, breakdown in communications and conflict."

Despite being a "useful book", most of which is an accurate reflection of what young, stable men feel and fear, its glaring flaw, says D'Souza, is that it is just that - it is about what generally happy, stable men want. It does not address what a man who, for instance, has come from an abusive home, has violent mood swings and drinks too much, wants. "This book does assume we're dealing with two happy, healthy and functioning individuals," Pizzo agrees. "It is meant as a light, entertaining book. We weren't attempting to get into complex psychology."

As to whether there should be a book for men titled What Women Want . . . Pizzo says he couldn't see many men reading it. "For one thing women are just too complicated. It would have to be written in several volumes and I think we'd end up more confused and terrified than ever at the end of it."

How to Understand What Men Want. . .. is published by Piatkus Books, price £6.99 in UK.