These things are sent to try us. Whoever coined that phrase was obviously thinking of teenagers. Things, being everything that goes with parenting a teenager – an activity which is not for those faint of heart, or delicate of spirit.
It’s perhaps karma’s ultimate revenge. All our parents had to do was sit it out and wait until we had our own teens. Oh, how they must have laughed, as we scoffed at their old-fashioned and obsolete approaches to rearing small children. We knew better, of course. Everything they did was wrong and we were going to raise perfect children. Which is hard when your baby won’t sleep, much like you didn’t sleep as a baby either, as it turns out.
Enter the teenager, and all our perfect parenting notions went out the window. Along with a significant amount of our sanity, it must be said. How do you raise younger versions of yourself who are convinced they know better about everything than their own parents? And why does this all sound so achingly familiar? Why do they spend so much time on their phones? Don’t they realise the value of real-life interactions and rites-of-passage experiences?
Such as getting a summer job. “Yes, they should get a summer job,” everyone declares. “It would be good for them. It’ll build their independence. Teach them the value of money and hard work. Help with social connections. And get them off their phones.”
“Yes, we would love a summer job,” lots of the teens declare. “We’re off for three months. We have no money, but we have expensive tastes. And otherwise our parents will lecture us about cleaning our rooms and getting off our phones.” But alas, if you’re are a teenager who is still at school, those summer jobs can prove dishearteningly elusive.
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It’s hard not to feel sorry for teenagers these days – well when they’re not melting your brain, that is. They are personae non gratae, in so many places. Hanging around – a natural state for teens since the Jurassic period – isn’t considered an acceptable pastime. And if you’re of the male variety, in particular, there’s possibly not a group more vilified in society.
But what are they to do with three long months of summer to fill? I’ve seen my own teens struggle to find summer jobs in spite of their best efforts and countless applications. And I know from speaking to other parents, that this is a challenge across the board. “It chips away at her confidence and self-worth as job application after job application goes ignored,” one parent mentioned frustrated as the summer slips away and her daughter’s efforts and eagerly prepared CVs seem destined to go to waste.
Sometimes it goes even beyond that. My friend is a single parent, living on an extremely low income. She has teenagers and summer has been zero craic, for them or her. Getting a summer job is about more than just milestones or building life experiences. It’s about providing her teenagers with an income, and offering her some respite from the pressures she feels to make memories, and cover the cost of activities she’d love them to be able to enjoy with their friends.
And it’s also about providing structure. Three months is a long time for an unmotivated teen. Particularly one who struggles with their mental health. One of her teens stays in bed until mid-afternoon, because what else is there for him to do? She has seen his mental health deteriorate from the lack of structure in his life, that school provides, and a summer job might also have. He has tried, but his efforts have proven fruitless. It seems some employers don’t want to hire teenagers who will leave to go back to school anyway.
For my friend, summer camps would never have been an option due to costs. But even parking the costs, you’ll do well to find many camps for children who are over the age of 12.
We seem to have forgotten about our teens. As we have done so many times in the past. We don’t include their needs in discussions about summer juggles. They’re old enough to be left home alone if parents need to go to work – that’s all that matters. Instead, we just complain about them, often for no reason other than them being teenagers, doing what teenagers do. They have three months off school, at an age we fail to cater for. Caught between childhood and adulthood, without place or opportunity to navigate it.
So, perhaps it’s time to stop with the “teenagers should get a job for summer” narrative, because really it’s not teen reluctance that’s the issue. It’s that these days many employers aren’t prepared to give them a chance.