Despite the temperatures outside, it is, apparently, the middle of summer, and tens of thousands of people all over the country are packing their bags for a couple of weeks in sunnier climes. Many are already back from a break abroad.
However, figures from the European Aviation College show that one in five people in this country have a fear of flying. “Some may have never flown but have heard negative stories so the idea of being in the air is scary, while others may have had a bad experience so their brain is warning them against a recurrence,” says psychologist Peadar Maxwell. “Then there are others who have had life changes such as ageing, becoming a parent, or a health issue, which reminds them of their mortality or makes flying less comfortable.
“Or it could simply be that they are not particularly afraid of flying, but may have had a stressful lead-up to a flight and it manifests itself in the sequence of queues, deadlines, security and managing luggage.”
Jo Willis doesn’t know exactly what category she falls into, but she first became afraid when travelling with her daughter, who is now an adult. “The initial panic attack when flying for the first time with our very young daughter definitely triggered my fear,” she says. “My mum was terrified of flying when I was young, so we used to go on holiday to Italy or Spain by boat and train, and that left an imprint too. But she’s now fine with flying – and I’m rather jealous.
“I did have quite a few years when we flew a lot. I was apprehensive but got better and better. But then, when on a flight to Spain with a friend, I had another five-minute panic attack and it set me back to really fearing flying again.
“But the thing is, I quite like flying once I’m up in the air, it gets me to places I want to visit and is an easy way to travel – it’s getting on the flight that is the issue. I’m flying in my head for months beforehand, getting very stressed and this often triggers ill-health as I scare myself before I’ve even started. It’s definitely a lack of control, combined with an actual fear of having a panic attack, as I’ve had two on planes. There’s a horrible feeling of making people feel disappointed with my ‘bad’ behaviour, when in fact the worst I do is sit there and cry.”
The 57-year-old, who lives in Dublin with her husband, Liam, their daughter and her mother, says her fear has had a big impact on their lives over the years. “We have cancelled holidays with a day to go, losing all chance of a refund, and I’ve been hospitalised twice as the stress triggers my diverticulitis symptoms,” she says. “It’s a fairly awful situation – but I don’t think my family get frustrated, more upset for me as they know how much I do actually love to travel.
“The last time I flew was in 2018. I usually take a Xanax the morning of the flight and another half an hour before it, but I didn’t like the way it messed me up for the first day of the holiday as I had to sleep as soon as we arrived. So, it’s tricky because I want to attempt to fly again, but it puts an awful lot of stress on my husband and daughter to continually boost me up and reassure me – and after the recent news about the turbulence and the Boeing issues as well, at the moment we are holidaying at home.”
Angela Barrett says she hasn’t been abroad for 10 years. “I am a fairly anxious person, but, although I didn’t really like it, I was able to fly when I was younger,” says the 62-year-old. “I think the fear started when I had kids and I just didn’t want to get on a plane with them. We went away twice as a family and both times, I was almost sick with nerves beforehand. So we tended to holiday at home in Ireland, or take the car and go by ferry to Europe. Then, as the kids grew up, we carried on doing the same – but after our daughter moved to America, I really wanted to visit and flying was the only option.
“Even though I suggested it, I was so stressed and, despite getting medication from my doctor, was silently petrified in the lead-up to the flight. Then, when we got to the airport, I was practically hyperventilating. My husband was really worried about me and knew that I just wouldn’t be able to go through with it, so we made a last-minute decision not to go.
“It was upsetting for everyone and I felt so guilty telling my daughter, who was understandably very unhappy about the situation. That was five years ago and I haven’t attempted to fly since. It it is very hard to explain to other people what it’s like – we know it’s not logical, but, when the fear gets hold, there is nothing you can do about it.”
I think a lot of my issues stem from the fact I used to run away from problems rather than face them – so my brain has put a stop to that by taking away that way of dealing with things
— Jo Willis
Maxwell says that the signs associated with a fear of flying can be anything from “being grouchy with others, talking a lot about things that might go wrong, or physical sensations such as not breathing calmly, being very sweaty or overalert”.
“Sometimes the symptoms of stress can creep up on us without us knowing. Some people like the experience of travelling, as it’s all part of the holiday, but others might dread the flight and, if this is the case, it’s important to acknowledge that and to prepare oneself.
“That could be trying to make the whole experience less stressful by giving yourself more time to arrive at and get through the airport, doing a few breathing exercises throughout the day, treating yourself to a nice meal or snack and preparing some reading materials or downloading something to watch. It is all about slowing down your mind in the process of arriving at the departure gate, which for many people is the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Plan to board the plane as unstressed and as prepared as you can.”
Willis, who lives in Dublin and works for senior counsel, says she has tried many things to help rid her of her intense issue with flying and is hopeful she can conquer her worries. “I would love to get over this fear and have done psychotherapy, a fear-of-flying course and hypnotherapy – you name it, I’ve done it,” she says. “I do feel slightly more positive about approaching it again but that will more likely be next year, as holidaying in Newport will do this year.
“I think a lot of my issues stem from the fact I used to run away from problems rather than face them – so my brain has put a stop to that by taking away that way of dealing with things. All I have to do now is persuade my brain that I’m not running any more but just want a break from Ireland every now and again.”
Maxwell, who is based in Wexford, says that if anxiety is crippling or preventing someone from living their lives to the fullest, then they should seek expert advice. “That help could be from our GP, from a counsellor or therapist or from someone who specialises in aerophobia, the fear of flying – as by avoiding doing something, we are unlikely to conquer the fear,” he says.
“Building up our anxiety tolerance is an essential skill in life, but that doesn’t have to be distressing in and of itself. We can seek help and guidance. Facing our fears is healthy, and if we overcome it we can be freed to enjoy travel, driving or whatever aspect of life is being inhibited by a specific fear.
“But don’t put yourself in a situation where you have not planned to have a reduced stress experience or where, if your anxiety is severe, you do not have help, support and advice on how to deal with your unique interpretation of that experience.
“Also keep in mind that nothing is absolutely stress-free and doesn’t have to be. Stress is [due to] the event building up, and anxiety is our response to that. All of that is a normal, natural way to prepare ourselves for something. But we can still prepare to make things less stressful so that we can relax and enjoy it and focus more on the destination.”
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