‘I felt physically sick’: Son had to sift through father’s ashes to remove screws and staples

A Dublin man who had to sift through his father’s ashes removing metal screws, staples and other pieces of the coffin left following an incomplete cremation process has spoken of his heartbreak and horror at the experience.

Sean Fox also called for greater regulation of the sector which, he said, might prevent other families having a similar experience and allow those who had bad experiences lodge official complaints.

His father Johnny Fox, an acclaimed athletics coach and founder of the Darkness Into Light charity, died in April, and in line with his wishes was cremated at Newland’s Cross Crematorium.

A portion of his ashes were to be spread in the mountains where he used to train, with a portion set aside to be buried alongside his wife when the time comes.

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His family decided to use a small amount in keepsake lockets, but when his son tried to collect tiny amounts of ash for that purpose he found what looked like large bone fragments. As he continued to look for small grains he found screws, staples, washers and other pieces of metal.

“I was so shocked, it looked like the remnants of a bonfire and I felt physically sick,” Mr Fox told The Irish Times. “It was horrendous these are my father’s remains and to treat them like that is completely disrespectful to my father.”

He said he was “struggling to talk about this” but wanted to highlight the issue. “I had to start removing the screws and the staples and there was just so many of them. I had to put my two hands in my father’s ashes and be completely disrespectful, and that will stay with me probably for the rest of my life.”

When he contacted the cemetery he was told they had had a problem with the machine and remains had to be passed through it a second time. However he noted there was also a degree of human intervention that could have spotted the issue, and he questioned why magnets that are supposed to filter out metal failed.

“It shows a complete lack of respect for the whole grieving process, and there is no regulator to turn to. If there was families could trust that the end-of-life service would be appropriate, respectful, dignified and compassionate.”

In response the Dublin Cemeteries Trust said it “deeply regrets the stress and upset this situation caused the Fox family during their time of grief. Over the course of a number of meetings and items of correspondence we have unreservedly apologised to the family, expressed our heartfelt condolences and offered a donation to their family charity.”

A statement added that it had instructed the funeral directors to waive the cremation costs. “We have thoroughly reviewed our processes and safeguards to ensure that this does not happen again. This is a very unfortunate and highly unusual incident. We are committed to following best practices at all times. Protecting the dignity of the deceased is of utmost importance to us.”

Former TD Tommy Broughan said that there was a lack of oversight when it came to opening and operating crematoriums. As a member of the Labour Party in 2012 he tried unsuccessfully to have legislation introduced aimed at introducing a regulator’s office.

He expressed confidence in the Dublin Cemetery Trust, but said the absence of a regulator meant Mr Fox and others who had issues had nowhere to turn if things went wrong. “There has been such a lacuna in Irish law in relation to one of the most important areas of life and death, and it should be part of any programme for government.”

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