Christmas as a returning emigrant is heightened. It is Christmas squared. It is action packed, running from the panto to the pub, from restaurants to parties, spending time with friends and family. Our kids are minded by people we love and trust. For two weeks, no proffered glass is refused, no cocktail sausage left uneaten, and no social event missed no matter how tired we are.
I moved to Calgary, Alberta in western Canada with my husband and our two children, now aged 7 and 4, in 2012. This was our fourth time returning to Dublin for two weeks at Christmas.
As always, we went out every night. Christmas is a great time of year to be home, as everyone has holidays and is in good form. Santa even manages to find our kids in Ireland, as well as visiting Calgary while we are away, which is no easy feat for Santa. The kids love being spoiled by their grandparents, seeing their cousins and picking up with their "old" friends from babyhood.
Every year, little nuances of Irishness resonate. This year, words and expressions we hadn’t heard all year - “She’s a right weapon that one”, and a weather report describing the conditions as “atrocious” - made us laugh.
Year on year we have seen changes. The first Christmas after we left the air of misery underlying the national mood was palpable. Every year since has brought improvements, until finally this Christmas, our Dublin taxi man - the ultimate barometer of the economy - admitted to “better times”.
Every year we see a new trend that suddenly becomes ubiquitous. When we first left Ireland everyone seemed to be taking up running. It was free and everyone seemed to be trying to outrun the recession. Now everyone is joining choirs and singing their hearts out.
Not all we observe about home is positive. Canada has an efficient public health system which functions very well, but the health service in Ireland seems to be getting worse. In Calgary, our kids are entitled to public school at primary and secondary level in the neighborhood in which they live. If we returned to our home in Ranelagh, that would be less certain.
The legendary Canadian politeness comes from a culture of respect and tolerance. Dubliners can seem rude in comparison as they bump into you without apology, or a shop door is left to slam into people. Litter is still everywhere in Dublin.
Then there is the weather… the “atrocious” weather.
But having chosen to leave Ireland, I somehow feel I have lost the right to criticise, along with my right to vote.
Watching our parents get older year on year is difficult, and we live with the fear every emigrant shares that something will happen and we will be needed when we’re too far away to help or be there.
Our kids ski like pros, describe things as “awesome”. To them the only kind of hockey is played on ice. We have been changed already by our emigration experience, and wherever we end up settling, we will always compare the two places. There are good and bad things about life in Canada, just like there are good and bad things about life in Ireland.
But nothing compares to the craic we experience every Christmas at home. The very essence of Irishness is in the slagging and the belly laughs and the banter with strangers.
Canada is the right place for us to be right now, and there is so much to love about this amazing country. But ultimately my heart is in Ireland, and I hope we will someday slot back in to Dublin life without too much trouble.
When each new year dawns and we head back exhausted after an amazing two weeks at home, the January blues, just like the Christmas experience, is heightened. But each year in Canada we have more to come back to in terms of friendships and feeling part of the community. No matter how cold it gets here we have beautiful snow and mountains, sunshine and a huge big bright blue Alberta sky.
It feels so special to be a returning emigrant at home for two weeks. The reality is, there will be January blues wherever you live, just like there will be good times and bad in the coming year. Life cannot always be pantos and parties. We are lucky to have been born in Ireland and have family there, lucky to be living the life we live in Canada, and above all lucky to have friends in both places who are helping create amazing memories for us and our children at Christmas and beyond.
Now pass the Canadian bacon… the diet starts in February here.
