Unlike most of my generation in Ireland, I moved away less than a month after the Leaving Certificate results in 2010 completely of my own accord. In fact, I practically ran with glee through Dublin airport to the manic but epic city that is London.
My decision to study abroad had nothing to do with my degree choice or with money. I merely wanted to do things differently. Looking back now, I see a teenager with adventure at the forefront of her mind, maybe a little bit of arrogance too. London offered new cultures, new foods, new languages, new friends and completely new surroundings.
To me, Ireland seemed grey, slow and often backwards in mentality. In reality I was unaware that at the time that Ireland was not the place for me. I love my country, my family and friends but as a newfound adult about to enter the real world, it did not interest me one bit.
As time passes and I grow older, I realise how patriotic I have become since moving away. Four years in London and half-way through another in Belgium, I am so aware of the Irish idioms when I visit home. I laugh and think to myself "only in Ireland", and I often wish these Irish slangs would flow so easily from my mouth.
I still experience a tingle of familiarity when I hear an Irish accent in a crowded pub in Brussels. I love seeing the reaction of my British and European friends to the Irish language and to GAA, even though neither of these things interested me when I lived at home.
The question of would I ever live in Ireland in the future has frequently occupied my mind lately. There are so many things I miss and love about home - the friendly people, the beautiful coast, the history, the banter and even sometimes my mam’s cooking.
But in reality I’ve spent all my adult life in other countries, and the idea of going home scares me. I often wonder if I would fit in now. But I realise that I am one of the lucky ones, I wasn’t forced to move away when Ireland spiraled into economic catastrophe, it was my choice.
I don’t think you can ever lose your ‘Irishness’ but rather it changes shape. Even if I never move home, I know Ireland will always be the place that made me who I am and who I will continue to be regardless of where I am.
