Shane Hegarty's encyclopaedia of modern Ireland
There was a time, not so long ago, when the most exotic food you would find in an Irish shop was a green crisp in a packet of Tayto. No more. The world of food is at our doorstep thanks to the Asian markets - as well as the halal butchers, African stores and Latvian supermarkets - that have popped up in our cities and villages.
A vast choice is suddenly available to us. So if only we could understand the labels, we wouldn't keep arriving home with shredded cuttlefish when we thought we were buying noodles.
There are three types of people in foreign markets: those who know what's what; those who don't; and those who have heard that they can get 30kg of rice for less than €1. They're Irish, the ones who stride in, throw a sack of rice over their shoulders as if it were a prehistoric bride and march straight for the till.
But there are others who are seduced by the exoticism of the place. Because, in an Ireland adjusting to its new population, stepping into one of these shops still feels like stepping into another land. It gives us a glimpse into a world where fish snacks are an acceptable filler. Where the joints of meat seem to be shrink-wrapped straight off the leg of a brontosaurus. And where someone can ask for a packet of dried lover plums without so much as a snigger.
It is easy to get a little carried away. You go in
for a handful of coriander and a bottle of oyster sauce, but as you browse the aisles you come over weak with the idea that you can never have enough dried gooseberry, or that what you're cooking could do with a touch more young jackfruit. Or maybe you simply fall for the packaging, which can be busy, baffling and as beguiling as something featuring a picture of a prawn riding a bicycle can get.
It reminds us how narrow Irish taste buds have become when our brains cannot comprehend
the idea of a crunchy water chestnut drink, of being well supplied with tinned limpets and that a can of grass jelly can be a thirst-quencher to rival a can of Coke. Or maybe that's unfair. Maybe in a bustling Asian metropolis somewhere, locals are wandering around a giant Irish market while exclaiming: "Red lemonade? Who would drink such a thing!"