I was born a curly wee. I still remember laying my head in my mother's lap and her twirling my curls around her fingers and pressing them into place. Not that they needed much help. They had a mind of their own - and a stubborn habit of springing back into place even after hours of torturing them into another style.
During my school years, instead of praying for the black babies, as instructed by Sr Margaret Ann, I prayed and prayed for my curls to go away. And - wouldn't you know it? - my best friend had a curtain of blond silk down her back that was as straight as a poker. Blond. Straight. She could sit on her hair. The injustice.
When I was a teenager, curls were in vogue, so I basked in the glory of girls stopping me in the street to ask where I had got my perm. Little did they know that I would have happily swapped my mane for almost any other hairstyle.
Now we are in the age of the straightening iron and the blow-dry. It has never been easier to have straight hair, so why am I not the happiest camper in town? I regularly waltz out of the salon smoothed and polished to perfection. I walk with a skip in my step as I casually flick my silky tresses over my shoulder. I even had what they call a " blow-out" in New York, and that was when I finally had my moment of truth. As I watched Teddy, my (female) stylist, pull and twist my hair against its nature, I realised life was too short for this kind of manipulation. After all, she was an expert, and it took her over an hour.
Then there's the bother of keeping away from water in the shower and always having an umbrella to hand, in case of the odd drizzle - in Ireland, I ask you.
No more, I say. I'm going with what Mother Nature intended me to have - with the help of a few indispensable products, of course. Phyl Clarke
THE GOODS
PHYTO DEFRISANT: Great hair relaxer. My current favourite. €17.50 from Down to Earth, 73 South Great George's Street, Dublin 2, and selected health shops nationwide
JOHN FRIEDA FRIZZ-EASE: Bestselling hair product. Hard to beat for price and effectiveness. €7.10 from supermarkets and pharmacies.
TIGI GLOSS DROPS: Fashion stylists' must-have, for that last-minute groom. €25.50 from Zoo Hair Salon, Arnotts, Henry Street, Dublin 1
NEUTROGENA HAND CREAM: Nice and waxy - a handbag staple. Moisturise you hands, then apply to hair. €4.25 at your local corner store.
BUMBLE AND BUMBLE BRILLIANTINE: Hard to resist a product that promises a "languid, slept-in, sexy look". Good value, as a little goes a long way. €20 from Sit Stil hair salon, Market Arcade, South Great George's Street, Dublin 2.