Meet Cathy. Cathy is a 40-something highly successful sales executive in a medium-sized Irish company. Her friends would describe her as enthusiastic and driven in her job, someone who would do anything to help others. Because of her good interpersonal skills, she has risen quickly through the ranks at work. Many admire her capacity to juggle work and social commitments, caring for her elderly dad, who has Alzheimer’s, as well as finding quality time for her sons who are approaching their teenage years. After the kids are in bed, two to three hours of work on the laptop are eventually wrapped up before making plans with her husband to have friends over for dinner on Saturday.
But Cathy has a secret. She drinks a few glasses of wine every night in front of her laptop while working to help her wind down. Coffee provides the energy boost needed for tough sales meetings in work, where bosses anxiously ask her if she is any closer to reaching her sales targets.
Lately, she has started losing patience with her dad, despite her best efforts to stay calm. Cathy has learned that if she smiles a lot, no one will notice; notice that she is exhausted, that she cries in the bathroom at work, that a feeling of depression is becoming increasingly difficult to shake off. She is hoping no one will notice that she wakes up at 4am with heart-hammering anxiety attacks. Or notice that things are starting to fall apart.
Cathy is a fictional character, but her profile is typical of a recent influx of clients I see. I frequently hear stories of businesses where the only way to reach your targets is to put in 12-16 hour days, and work for a few hours at weekends too, to catch up on admin. There is nothing new about this, but it raises questions about how we can possibly work at this pace for long periods of time.
Behind every case of work-related burnout, there is an organisation that needs to change. A lot can be achieved by setting the right expectation around what is realistic to expect from employees. Developing quality wellness programmes and addressing training needs in resilience and emotional intelligence are good measures also. Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and understand emotions. It helps us regulate emotions in positive ways to reduce stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
When people come to see me they are exhausted and often scared. They don’t recognise themselves. They feel, think and act differently. Their bodies no longer obey them: they are scared when there is no immediate threat, wide awake when others are sleeping, sometimes craving sugar, coffee and alcohol. They are irritable and tearful.
Addressing burnout often starts with getting the basics right. Our bodies love routine. A good sleep routine, meals at regular intervals, a bit of calm exercise. It’s about giving our bodies time to rest and draw a sharper line between work and our personal lives. It can be useful to talk to a professional who can help you sift through your thoughts and emotions.
My clients have taught me that once a period of exhaustion has passed, they come back to their lives more creative, more resilient and with an improved confidence in themselves. It requires change however.
When feeling stressed and burned-out, try the following steps:
1. First things first
If you are in an acute phase of exhaustion, get some rest. Take some time off work. Talk to your GP if necessary.
2. Revisit relaxation
Take a second look at mindfulness, yoga, Pilates and meditation. Many people I speak to say they don’t particularly enjoy these activities and have dismissed them, or say they don’t have the time or money to go to classes. These days there are a myriad of good quality apps or material on YouTube which is accessible to everyone. A few minutes every day can make an enormous difference to a hyper-charged central nervous system and a brain that needs some cooling down. Breathing exercises can be done on your way into work.
3. Manage your thinking
Long periods of running on adrenaline can exhaust the body, leading to a state characterised by anxiety, low mood, irritability and sometimes depression. Through this lens, life often seems dull and unsatisfying. People can sometimes start to doubt themselves when in that frame of mind, causing a further downward spiral. If this is the case, talk to a professional who can help you create more balanced thinking and harmony.
4. Learn to say no
Start setting boundaries, learn to say no. Look for ways to start delegating. If you are known as the “yes” person at work, you’ll no doubt be popular. However, over time your colleagues will start to see you as the person who gets work done, theirs included.
5. Cost-benefit analysis
Do a simple cost-benefit analysis of your current job situation. Draw a vertical line down the middle of a piece of paper, cost on one side, benefit on the other. Is there a personal cost associated with staying in your job? Are there opportunities for changing your role within the organisation? Weigh up the costs and benefits between staying in your organisation and leaving your job.
If you answers fall mainly in the “cost” section, then it could be time to start thinking about changing your job or your career. There are many good career coaches available who can help you assess your current situation and be a sounding board for your ideas. A good coach can help you explore how to best align a job with your values, interests and talents.
6. Flexible work
If flexible work arrangements are not already in place, talk to your organisation about implementing more flexible hours. The World Health Organisation says employees often feel stressed when they feel a lack of control over their time and job responsibilities.
7. Take charge of compassion fatigue
People sometimes experience exhaustion which at first glance may seem to originate from work. However, a quick analysis of the person’s life situation may reveal they are raising children/teenagers as well as caring for ageing parents or relatives.
On top of that, if the person is working in healthcare, it amounts to significant demands on a person’s empathy resources. Over time, it can diminish a person’s capacity for compassion. This is a normal reaction. Start delegating responsibility where possible. Learn to care for yourself the way you care for others.
8. What’s the atmosphere like in work?
I have seen examples of how some company cultures use scare tactics which breed anxiety and stress. If company-wide emotional intelligence training is out of the question, separate yourself from any negativity and park it in work. Make a conscious effort to focus on something worthwhile.
9. Get creative
What did you love doing as a child? Art work, cooking, building something? Remember being lost in an activity for hours, in the zone, or as it’s called now, creating flow? Immersing yourself in a creative flow like this can be healing after a period of exhaustion and will help you reconnect with other areas of your life as well as reacquaint you with fun again.
10. Challenge that perfectionism
Perfectionists are overly critical about their abilities and will sometimes anticipate criticism from others. For that reason, many work twice as hard to avoid mistakes, criticism and getting negative feedback. Turn this thinking on its head: What do you value about yourself? What are your strengths? What are you good at?
Perfectionism can also breed competition in work; others will strive towards the same unattainable standards, leading to burnout across teams. Best kept in check!
11. Fun
I also meet people who just can’t stop working because it is so much fun. Their jobs are stimulating, they grow as individuals, they have many friends in work and they are praised and rewarded for their performance. They thrive.
It’s puzzling then that the body still runs on the same adrenaline and stress hormones as when a job is stressful in the negative sense of the word. While this doesn’t necessarily lead to , it’s worth taking time to switch off completely to let your body recuperate.
12. Have a frank conversation with your boss
Sometimes it isn’t possible to squeeze certain workloads into a given timeframe, despite being efficient at work. If this is the case, start a diary and log how long a task really takes to complete.
If there is an expectation that you complete more work than is humanly possible, have a frank chat with your boss. Bring your diary and present the facts. Perhaps the workload can be re-structured? Or more staff taken on?
13. Address workaholism
Workaholism is an addiction similar to other addictions and frequently leads to burnout. The person is sometimes unable to stop working, or stop thinking about work and may work secretively on projects, for example, at night-time when others are sleeping.
Workaholics are often rewarded for their commitment to the job, and this reward could be financial. A person may be financially comfortable as a result, but may experience relationship difficulties because of all the time spent working. Serious overworking may mask underlying problems. Talk to a professional who can help tackle these issues.
13. Managing self-employment
Self-employed people, from farmers to shopkeepers and anything in-between, will agree the job comes with a certain set of challenges. Business owners juggle many roles within their operation, and long hours are often inevitable.
If the pressure is constant, ask yourself: Is there a gap between my expectations and what is actually achievable? Who can I lean on for support? Networking with others in your industry can offer insight into how others have solved practical problems and help you feel connected.
Annika Fogarty is an accredited counselling psychologist, coach and trainer. She is the founder of MindSmart.ie
