Being vegan: ‘I’m jealous of everyone who suddenly seems to be eating anything with a face’

After years of limiting the carb food group, it is now a centre piece to my diet

Are bees in some way unequal to cows?

Okay, I take it all back. Veganism is hard. After the first week of novelty and fresh-faced vegan enthusiasm, the second week has seen me hungry and terribly jealous of everyone around me who suddenly seems to be eating anything with a face. I have ranged from feeling like an addict to a complete pain in the arse.

It started last Sunday morning when I realised my special Sunday morning croissant was no longer legal, so I swapped it for toast (you’ll see a pattern emerging here) with olive oil drizzled over the top. It wasn’t bad, but as I watched my partner devour his warm croissant with extra butter, along with milky tea, followed by a boiled egg, a dairy-loving demon came alive inside me.

As I said last week I wouldn’t normally be much of a meat eater, but veganism excludes all foods that have come from anything that has a face. So this includes butter, milk, cheese, eggs and even honey. What I didn’t realise on setting out on this month of veganism is quite how much I rely on these foods.

I am missing chocolate like crazy and yes, I can have dark chocolate and soya-based chocolate spread but really there is no substitute for Nutella.

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I am also aware of how annoying I am becoming in restaurants. I visited one tapas restaurant last week that had an extensive menu and yet there were only two things I could have on it. And one of them was bruschetta.

Playing the martyr

I don’t play the martyr very well, especially when it comes to food, so I felt like I needed to point this out at the table. I immediately regretted this as I heard rounds of “Why can’t you have the honeyed goat’s cheese salad? Seriously? What would you call that then? Bee abuse?” People seem to understand the exclusion of meat, poultry and even dairy from a diet but get all wound up when honey is mentioned. Are bees in some way unequal to cows?

I went home that evening and made a delicious maple syrup, peanut butter mug cake (recipe below). My veganism has seen me become quite creative in the kitchen, satiating my needs in any way I can. This actually hasn’t been that difficult because the good thing about veganism? Bread, potatoes, pasta, rice and rice noodles. After years of limiting this carby food group, it has suddenly become a centre piece to my diet. If you really are what you eat, I am now a potato sandwich (with no butter).

Equality for bees maple syrup

2 tbsp of flour

2 tbsp peanut butter

2 tbsp almond milk

1 tbsp maple syrup

1 tsp baking powder

Put all ingredients into your mug and stir together. Microwave on high until the cake has risen. This usually takes about 1 min 30 secs. Enjoy.