Fear can make your labour much more difficult, so take time during your pregnancy to try to overcome your nerves
‘YOU HEAR people describe this agony. I just didn’t think I would get through it and I didn’t want to hear the ‘you’ll be grand’ line.”
From the day she discovered she was pregnant with her first child, Lisa (now a mother of three) was very nervous about giving birth.
“All my life I was accumulating these bad stories, I think most women do. I had massive anxiety about the birth, wasn’t able to sleep and cried a lot. Because I was so scared I would avoid really concrete information about labour. I decided to do my antenatal classes quite early and that helped me because I got more information.”
It might be the most natural thing in the world but many pregnant women experience jitters about the impending birth, particularly as their due date nears.
Fears about pain, the health of the baby, loss of control over your body during labour and of being in such a physically vulnerable position are common. Many practices which are routine to professionals in maternity hospitals can feel invasive, especially to women who dislike hospitals or any form of medication.
Think about the messages we get about birth and it doesn't seem irrational to be scared. Some women, acting like childbirth war veterans, relish giving accounts of unpleasant labours. Positive stories seem to get drowned out. A 2009 film, Labouring Under an Illusion, compares the comical and often fear-inducing scenes in movies with real life, peaceful birth footage.
“In the West we have an expectation that labour is a traumatic experience. It is really exaggerated in films. You would never see a woman having a peaceful birth, she is always howling and screaming, biting the nurses,” says Allison Keating, head psychologist at the bWell Clinic in Dublin.
“Yet in other cultures, it is not like that at all, and they have a completely different experience,” she says.
There is little research done in Ireland, but UK maternity hospitals have reported a rise in childbirth fears in recent years. Women may have always had anxieties but are now more open to discussing them.
However, some medics think that modern women are used to being in control of all aspects of their lives and find it harder to cope when nature takes over.
Natural birth advocates say the medicalisation of birth is to blame, conditioning us to see birth as a medical event rather than a natural process.
Whatever the reason, fear of childbirth has been identified as a factor behind the increase in elective Caesarean sections and can make pregnancy a stressful time.
Keating runs a pre-labour relaxation course for pregnant women and finds it is quite natural for them to be anxious.
“A lot of people are genuinely nervous about childbirth and it is usually for one of two reasons – it is their first time, so they have no idea what they are getting into or because they have had a bad birth before.”
Unfortunately, fear can affect the progress of labour, so it is important to ease nerves before the birth.
“The more fear you feel, the more it is going to inhibit your body having the baby in a relatively easy fashion. It is a bit of a vicious circle – if you are in pain you think, ‘I was right to be scared of this’.
“So from a physiological point of view, you are genuinely having a difficult time, but it is coming from the fact that you are in a state of fear, which isn’t conducive to letting your body have a smooth labour.”
She finds apprehension is often tied up with fears of becoming a parent. “The process of becoming a mother in itself brings up things. It brings up doubts about yourself, ‘what kind of mother am I going to be?’. It brings up the relationship you had with your own mother.
“I don’t know if you go through any other change at such a deep physical, emotional and psychological level. It really is a full-blown transformation.”
Antenatal classes, prenatal yoga, parental manuals and courses are all helpful for easing fears. Gathering as much information as possible about labour, pain relief and different childbirth methods can give a feeling of greater control over the process.
Hypnobirthing is becoming very popular with nervous first- time mums and those who had a previous bad birth experience. It originated in the US and uses hypnosis to change the perception that birth is frightening or something to be dreaded.
Women learn self-hypnosis and deep relaxation techniques (to be practised daily in preparation for the birth) that stop the “fear-tension-pain syndrome” kicking in during labour. Many women have used hypnobirthing to have very calm, positive births.
Keating recommends that expectant mothers focus on the things they do have control over.
“I think the problem for people is when they try to control what is going on around them, say for instance the contractions – you can’t control them, but you can work with them.
“Know that there is only so much you can be in control of, but you can be 100 per cent in control of your reaction to what is presented to you.”
Mary Tighe used GentleBirth (an Irish form of hypnobirthing) for her labours with Odhran (four months) and Sadbh (four years old). She has since become a GentleBirth practitioner in Cork.
‘I HAD LOOKED into birth options and felt that home was the place to be. I went to childbirth classes and they were very good, but they showed us these videos of natural births and I had never seen a real labour before.
“I think the idea was to reassure us about how powerful women were, but I just lost it! I thought, ‘I can’t do that.’ I came out and said to my husband, ‘I think I’m going to have to have a Caesarean’.
“I started to get seriously worried and any time I thought of the fact that I was pregnant my heart would start racing.
“A friend who is a midwife told me about Tracy Donnegan’s GentleBirth workshops.
“I didn’t really know what to expect from hypnobirthing, but she came over to the house and did the workshop with us.
“The difference was huge, I felt like a totally different person after it. They showed videos as well, but the births were so different.
“The women were calm, a lot of the time sitting on the bed and chatting, and I didn’t know birth could be like that.
“She goes through how fear creates adrenaline in labour and then the hormones that are supposed to be there to help you through the labour can’t come in.
“So if you are afraid, that is where a lot of the discomfort and pain comes from.
“You get a hypnosis CD to listen to every day and that was great. I felt more confident through listening to it. I went into labour and wasn’t afraid. If I hadn’t come across it, I don’t know how it would have panned out, but I would have been very afraid going into labour.
“In the end I had two brilliant births, but even if they hadn’t gone so well, at least I could enjoy the pregnancies rather than being worried and nervous.”
EASY DOES IT: TIPS FOR OVERCOMING NERVES
Try to cultivate a positive mindset about the birth by focusing on whatever empowers you rather than making you more afraid.
Gather plenty of information about labour. Research different birthing options and forms of pain relief.
Discuss fears with your partner or a friend who can provide support. Talk to your consultant who will have expertise and experience that will dispel many common fears.
Avoid the scaremongers. “I was amazed by the stories people told me when I was expecting. Just say ‘I really don’t want to know thank you’,” says Allison Keating.
If you are experiencing severe fears, having difficulty sleeping or feeling constantly unhappy, talk to your doctor.
