Christmas has, through conscious choice or not, become a time of pressure and stress for many people.
There is an emphasis on buying with a pressure to spend and shop and, even for children, there is a clear focus on material goods. While shopping is great for the economy and gifts are a fantastic way to show appreciation, the focus on commercialism is not necessarily good for our health.
While Santa’s gifts are a major part of what makes the season magical, to focus exclusively on wanting, asking for and then receiving material things can lead children to develop a belief that material things are the only things that make you happy. This is despite research to the contrary.
Christmas time is an emotional time – lonely for some, magical for others. But for everyone, whatever their experience of Christmas, it can be useful time to create a space for gratitude.
Gratitude is an emotion that a person can choose to feel at any time. This can be done by making a decision to focus your mind on the feeling of gratitude and making time for it. As an emotion, gratitude is good for the soul.
Much research has been carried out on the links between gratitude and wellbeing. Robert E Emmons PhD, one of the leading researchers in this area, found that cultivating an attitude of gratitude brings about an increase in happiness and a decrease in feelings of depression.
Further studies have found that gratitude impacts positively on physical health – a person’s immune system and cardiovascular health are improved through experiencing gratitude regularly, mainly by decreasing stress.
Gratitude linked to exercise
A simple habit of keeping a weekly gratitude journal was found by Emmons and his team to increase the likelihood of a person exercising on a regular basis.
The same people who were keeping a gratitude journal and exercising more reported fewer physical symptoms of pain and felt better overall about their life and their work.
This was in comparison with a control group who did not keep a journal and did not practise gratitude on a regular basis.
Gratitude and the expression of it has been seen by numerous psychotherapists to improve relationships.
For young adolescents who regularly experience the feeling, findings show them to be more likely to experience a desire to give back to their families and communities which, in turn, impacts on their ability to form social bonds.
This promotes positive connections and their overall sense of contentment with their life.
There are many ways that fostering an attitude of gratitude can be incorporated into the experience of Christmas, a time when thanks are given easily. For children particularly, it is an opportunity to merge the magic of Christmas with the emotion of gratitude.
No one is too old to feel the benefit of incorporating gratitude into their Christmas experience. And no one is too young to begin to learn how to do it.
Whether it is awakening to a new day, remembering a precious Christmas past, whether it is bright Christmas lights or a smile that melts your heart, there are always reasons to feel grateful, and it is always possible, once we slow down a little bit and make the time to feel it.
HOW TO DEVELOP A GRATEFUL ATTITUDE AT CHRISTMAS
Make time for gratitude
Children today live in a world that, by and large, has an instant gratification culture. Their focus is likely on what they are getting next. Taking the time to sit down with children and reflect back on what they remember about last Christmas and what they received then will begin to foster the feeling of gratitude.
Along with asking children “What are you getting for Christmas?” space can be created to ask about what they received last year and what they enjoyed about that gift. Even that simple conversation can foster the emergence of gratitude.
Santa
Learning to express gratitude at a young age supports children to develop a habit of being thankful.
This year, if you are visiting Santa, remember to encourage children to say thank you to him for last year's gift.
If a treat is being left out for Santa and Rudolf on Christmas Eve, encourage children to write a thank you note for Santa. Decorating and colouring the note could become a Christmas Eve tradition.
Hang your thanks on the tree
If there is a Christmas tree in the home, all members of the family can write on a piece of paper one or two things that they have felt grateful for this year. Maybe it was winning a game of rugby or being able to watch a football match; it could be a great song or a good friend. Children can be encouraged to think of something that is not a material thing that they are grateful for.
Hang these thoughts on the Christmas tree or make a decoration out of them for other family members to read and enjoy.
Christmas candle
Traditionally in Ireland, a candle was lit in the front window of homes on Christmas Eve. This practice was for many a religious one, but in today's more secular society, candle lighting could symbolise gratitude for all that we have.
Whatever a person’s religion, there can be space for reflection and spirituality at Christmas. The candle can come to represent all that people are thankful for and be a way to connect with and share feelings of gratitude.
Christmas cards and letters
Sometimes, Christmas cards are written in bulk and there isn't time to appreciate and feel grateful for people in your life.
Take the time to choose one person from your Christmas card list and to take the time to sit down and write them a letter.
This can help to foster gratitude for having that person in your life. Children could write a Christmas letter to a member of the family they admire.
– Anne McCormack is a psychotherapist accredited with FTAI and ICP.
